IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

An increasing number of people are changing their careers. What are the reasons? Do you think it is positive or negative?

#people #careers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Job
Use synonyms
 hopping is increasingly common nowadays when a large number of
people
Use synonyms
 have switched or prefer to change their
careers
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will present possible reasons for
this
Linking Words
 trend and argue that
such
Linking Words
changes
Use synonyms
 are, in general, beneficial to those who proactively seek them. The fundamental reasons for
people
Use synonyms
 to move from one
job
Use synonyms
 to another are usually elusive, hidden behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
seemingly
Change the adverb
seeming
show examples
 factors like low salary, micromanagement from supervisors and hostile working environment. The prominent cause
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
 hooping frenzy, I believe, stems from the fast-paced
changes
Use synonyms
 that have been happening worldwide socially, politically and economically. With
such
Linking Words
 dynamic
changes
Use synonyms
, the traditional
job
Use synonyms
 security originated from doing the same
job
Use synonyms
 throughout the working life has disappeared, and
people
Use synonyms
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 choose to switch
careers
Use synonyms
 for more working experiences that could bring
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 skills and experience needed to keep up with the fast-changing employment market. Another possible reason for
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
-hopping frenzy could be that
companies
Use synonyms
, in order to maintain their competitiveness and vitality in
this
Linking Words
 dynamic global environment, choose to recruit new employees from time to time to add ‘new blood’ to the team to promote creativity and proactiveness.
This
Linking Words
 trend of
people
Use synonyms
 switching
careers
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to both
individuals
Use synonyms
 and their employers,
although
Linking Words
 it might be
initially
Linking Words
 distressing.
Changes
Use synonyms
 can be intimidating to
individuals
Use synonyms
 as they are confronted with the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
 to learn new skills and fit in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 environment, while their employers might
also
Linking Words
 worry
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 performance of the new recruits. Considering how apprenticeship and in-house training have been the norm of most
companies
Use synonyms
, I think those concerns are negligible when compared to the far-reaching benefits resulting from
such
Linking Words
changes
Use synonyms
. For
individuals
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could become more employable and have promising prospects
as a result
Linking Words
 of their increased skills, experience and social connections accumulated via working in various positions and
companies
Use synonyms
. For
companies
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 development of
individuals
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 means that there will be more competent and experienced candidates who can create more value for the company than those who dedicate decades of their lives
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the company doing the same type of work. In conclusion, the changing social context, in my opinion, is the primary factor contributing to the increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 who choose to change
careers
Use synonyms
. Despite some concerns around the unfamiliarity of moving to a new
job
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 movement, I believe, is generally beneficial for
individuals
Use synonyms
 to improve their employability and for
companies
Use synonyms
 to maintain their
competitivene
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
competitive
Submitted by hml1014366268 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: