IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that Technology such as mobile phones, cell phones are destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #phones #cell #interaction
A highly controversial topic today relates to whether
phones
 are threatening human's connections. I strongly disagree that these innovations are a threat to our communication.
Firstly
, because can use it for educational's purposes as well as for connecting with other's nations. The main reason why I believe that technological object
such
 as
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a
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mobile phone is not a serious threat to our social life is that we can use
this
 technology for learning.
In addition
, these days many
app
's developers build more than hundreds of
app
 for learning. Where people can download that
app
 and learn anything with one click.
Hence
, most English learners have been using
this
app
 effectively to improve their level of English.
Furthermore
, universities started to consider mobile
phones
 as an important tool for education.
For example
, during the COVID-19 ,pandemic most of the educational establishments used PCs and mobile
phones
 during distance learning. Another reason why I think that cell
phones
 are not destroying human's connection is that can connect with everyone around the world with one click.
Thus
, the world became a small village where it becomes too easy to connect with someone in Africa, Asia, and Europe.
In contrast
, in the past people spent a massive amount of money to send a message to a friend or even a relative;
however
, sometimes your message might not arrive at the final destination.
As a result
, nowadays most CEO's could attend any meeting with their cell
phones
.
For example
, politically speaking, there was a riot in Turkey; Prime Minister Mr Erdugan used his phone to communicate with the media and send his messages to the citizens and because of that he regain
the
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control
on
Change preposition
of
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 the country. In conclusion, I completely admit that innovation; namely, mobile and cell
phones
 are not a danger to human interconnectedness
this
 is because we can use them for education and to attend meetings and to send any urgent message.
Submitted by kofaisal on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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