In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #children #jobs #summer #vacation #people #amounts #child #labour #lessons

There have been ongoing debates regarding whether numerous nations tend to stimulate juveniles to take on

jobs

during long vacations in order to learn life lessons and gain new experiences,

while

some argue that

this

is purposeless. Both points of view and the reason why I agree with the former argument will be elaborated on in

this

essay.

To begin

with, it might be sensible for some to claim that a part-time

job

during the summer is unnecessary seeing that

children

should have time to relax after a rigorous academic year. The research conducted by Oxford University compared students who had time to enjoy themselves with their friends to those who were required to take mandatory

jobs

. the study found that the intelligence of the former group was significantly higher than that of the latter.

Conversely

, in

this

day and age,

children

's rights have become ubiquitous, causing a part-time

job

to be non-obligatory in several countries, whether it be Japan or the US, where policies are in place to protect these rights.

Therefore

, whether or not

children

take on a part-time

job

depends on their individual needs. Some part-time

jobs

such

as cooking, offer direct benefits by teaching skills that

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

valuable in the long run. In my opinion, I strongly support the existence of part-time

jobs

because they are not only essential for

children

but

also

beneficial for businesses in some countries. Take Australia,

for example

, part-time

jobs

play a crucial role in the economy

due to

inexpensive labour and short-term contracts. In conclusion, even though it is undeniable that

children

should have free time to engage in activities they enjoy, the government should provide them with the option to take on a

job

because I believe the advantages outweigh the detrimental outcomes in the long run.

Submitted by phumrapee33 on Sun Sep 01 2024

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task response

Develop each argument with more detailed evidence and explanation to make your points stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure your topic sentences clearly reflect the main idea of each paragraph to improve the flow of ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that teaching children of different abilities together benefits all of them. Others believe that intelligent children should be taught separately and given special treatment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own answers.

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Music should not be taught in schools. Instead other subjects such as computer and science should be taught. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution prob- lems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement? What other measures do you think might be effective?