Some people think that movies or television can have a negative influence on young people's behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #movies #television #influence #behaviour

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It is a common belief that

movies

Use synonyms

television

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can heavily have a positive influence on young people’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

However

Linking Words

, I firmly believe that watching

movies

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

worse.

And

Correct word choice

This

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this

Linking Words

essay will address the reasons for my views as

Correct subject-verb agreement

follows

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are many people

think

Correct pronoun usage

who think

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that watching

movies

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television

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makes the young

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lazier

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in both thinking and working.

This

Linking Words

is because after they

spends

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

lots of hours watching

films

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, they will feel tired and can’t do anything. Watching

films

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make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the kids

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lazier

Use synonyms

in thinking

due to

Linking Words

the available action of the

films

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For instance

Linking Words

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

when they watch a movie about something, they don’t have to think what is the conclusion, they just have to wait for it, which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

directly makes them

lazier

Use synonyms

in thinking.

This

Linking Words

problem can lead the youth to be lazy in both thinking and working. On top of that, watching

movies

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television

Use synonyms

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

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a consuming

time

Use synonyms

habit.

This

Linking Words

is because kids never just sit down and

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

film

Add an article

the film

a film

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for 15 minutes or less, they always spend more than an hour watching.

Due to

Linking Words

the wasting

time

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, they won’t have enough

time

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for studying, doing housework or joining some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

social club. It makes them

staying

Change the form of the verb

stay

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at home and interact with the TV. My nephew, who is just 8 years old, can stay at home the whole

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

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just watching

films

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and playing with the

Ipad

Correct your spelling

iPad

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. He refused to play with friends or

helping

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

his parents with the housework. In conclusion, watching

films

Use synonyms

and

movies

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

show examples

habit which both

wasting

Replace the word

wastes

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time

Use synonyms

and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

kids

lazier

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. For these reasons,

it is clear that

Linking Words

movies

Use synonyms

and

television

Use synonyms

can have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

influence

Change preposition

show examples

young people’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Submitted by tonykim09 on Fri Nov 19 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Some people think that movies or television can have a negative influence on young people's behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activities of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?