Some people think that movies or television can have a negative influence on young people's behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #movies #television #influence #behaviour

It is a common belief that

movies

television

can heavily have a positive influence on young people’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

However

, I firmly believe that watching

movies

television

make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

worse.

And

Correct word choice

This

show examples

this

essay will address the reasons for my views as

Correct subject-verb agreement

follows

show examples

To begin

with, there are many people

think

Correct pronoun usage

who think

show examples

that watching

movies

television

makes the young

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lazier

in both thinking and working.

This

is because after they

spends

Change the verb form

spend

show examples

lots of hours watching

films

, they will feel tired and can’t do anything. Watching

films

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the kids

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lazier

in thinking

due to

the available action of the

films

For instance

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

when they watch a movie about something, they don’t have to think what is the conclusion, they just have to wait for it, which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

directly makes them

lazier

in thinking.

This

problem can lead the youth to be lazy in both thinking and working. On top of that, watching

movies

television

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

a consuming

time

habit.

This

is because kids never just sit down and

watching

Wrong verb form

watch

show examples

film

Add an article

the film

a film

show examples

for 15 minutes or less, they always spend more than an hour watching.

Due to

the wasting

time

, they won’t have enough

time

for studying, doing housework or joining some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

social club. It makes them

staying

Change the form of the verb

stay

show examples

at home and interact with the TV. My nephew, who is just 8 years old, can stay at home the whole

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

just watching

films

and playing with the

Ipad

Correct your spelling

iPad

show examples

. He refused to play with friends or

helping

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

his parents with the housework. In conclusion, watching

films

and

movies

the

Correct article usage

show examples

habit which both

wasting

Replace the word

wastes

show examples

time

and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

kids

lazier

. For these reasons,

it is clear that

movies

and

television

can have

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

influence

Change preposition

show examples

young people’s

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Submitted by tonykim09 on Fri Nov 19 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People are divided as to whether children should move out on their own once they reach the age of adulthood, with some suggesting they should stay with their parents. While there are clear upsides to children continuing to live with their parents past 18, I am in favor of encouraging them to leave their parents’ house.
7.5
band
Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Over the past decade, monumental technological advancements have become the defining phenomenon on a global scale. Innovations led by scientists, particularly in the Internet and Technology (IT) sector, have given rise to transformative devices such as smartphones. The heightened accessibility of these devices has resulted in their widespread and extended use, a trend observed across various age groups, including children who often find themselves immersed in prolonged smartphone interactions.
<4
band
More and more people are shifting to cities from country side. Does this have advantages or disadvantage on environment?
Nowadays, the number of people prefer to move to live in the country increased for many different reaseons. In this essay I will write about this supject and the penfits and drawback of this stuation.
7
band
The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
The emergence of social media platforms, such as Facebook and Twitter, has brought about a profound transformation in interpersonal communication, challenging the traditional face-to-face interactions we once relied upon. I am firmly convinced that the benefits of this digital revolution far outweigh its drawbacks. While social media offers unparalleled convenience and connectivity, it is vital to acknowledge and address its potential downsides to strike a balanced approach to its usage.
7
band
The government should control the use of the internet in a country
In the modern era, the development of the internet is getting stronger and freer, and everyone can give and get the info or communicate with each other quickly, instant and real-time. Someone when suffering the network, it is like suffering the earth, they can go anywhere they want. However, one-place are not the same condition; there is a place full of peace or place that used for war. Because of that, it is crucial to restriction the cyberspace to protect and make everyone feeling safe when they hang around on the web then the ministry should take action to discipline the cyber management in the country. Nevertheless, with a condition like that, some people will not be controlled by using the internet because it will bother the freedom and limit their human rights. This essay will compare the reason the ministry to control or give flexibility to the usage of the network in a country.

Some people think that movies or television can have a negative influence on young people's behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents’ house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents’ house as long as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

More and more people are shifting to cities from country side. Does this have advantages or disadvantage on environment?

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The government should control the use of the internet in a country