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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many large cities around the world lack affordable housing. What problem does a lack of affordable housing cause? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#cities #world #lack
Everyone hopes to own their own
house
.
However
, the rapid
economy
 has led to the
house
 price
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed cities. The majority feel pressured that they could not afford the expensive
house
 prices. Without
a fixed houses
Correct the article-noun agreement
a fixed house
fixed houses
show examples
, they have to abandon
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 superior jobs and return to their hometown. In my opinion, the root of
this
 problem is that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
relevant files to balance the
economy
. The developed cities’
house
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 affect people in the following two ways. One of them is that the developed city will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
talented person. Lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
adorable housing, the excellent talents have to resign from their fabulous jobs and back to
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
show examples
. Another
effection
Correct your spelling
affection
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 is that a portion of
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 buying
house
Add an article
a house
the house
show examples
 under the
pressure
.
For instance
, they pay for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
loans which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 higher than salaries that cause great
pressure
 both on their physical and mental.
Therefore
, the urgent task is to solve the problem that people could afford the
house
 loan. Some policies and means are needed to solve
this
 serious problem.The
government
 proposal relevant policies in
introduce
Wrong verb form
introducing
show examples
 talents
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 able to share their housing
pressure
. Meanwhile,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should control the growth rate of the
economy
toprevent
Correct your spelling
to prevent
 the monopoly of housing market occurrences. In conclusion, there is still an irresistible
pressure
 on the housing
economy
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed cities. As far as I 'm concerned, the
government
 manipulate the
economy
 both benefits the
develop
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of the city and reduce people's financial
pressure
 at the same time.
Submitted by 876446372 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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