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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time
The first line graph compares the percentage of three electrical appliances over the period of 99
years
Use synonyms
. And the
second
Linking Words
 chart shows the time
spending
Replace the word
spent
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 on washing clothes, preparing meals and cleaning per
week
Use synonyms
 from 1920 to 2019. It is evident that in 1980 and 2000, the percentage of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 and washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 increased to the peak respectively.
While
Linking Words
 the time
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on housework has decreased over the 99
years
Use synonyms
. In 1920, the ownership of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 was the lowest, with almost 0%, and the amount of vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 was the highest
for
Change preposition
at
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 approximately 40%.
However
Linking Words
, just in 40
years
Use synonyms
, the number of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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 overtook vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 as the primary
households
Change the noun form
household
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 appliances. For
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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 of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
, there has been a steady increase from about 30% to 100% between 1920 to 2000. Between 1920 and 2019, the
hours
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spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 on housework fell from nearly 50
hours
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 per
week
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 to 10
hours
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 per
week
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. There was a rapid decrease from 1920 to 1960 that it reduced almost 30
hours
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 per
week
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
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doing housework. After that, the time of
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 was stable for the
next
Linking Words
 59
years
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, week, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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