IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. This has more advantages or disadvantages.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities
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Needless to say, there is a tendency among
businesmen
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businessmen
 and employees to
work
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 for a lot of
hours
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 every day, having almost no
time
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 for hobbies and entertainment.
Therefore
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, there are some pros and cons due to extra
work
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time
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 which will be discussed below.
However
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, despite
of
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apply
show examples
some benefits, long working
hours
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 significantly inbalance a person’s routine,
that is
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 why longer working
hpurs
Correct your spelling
hours
 might consider rather as a con. Undoubtedly, it is
advantegeous
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advantageous
 that working additional
hours
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 a person improves some skills and gets more knowledgable in a particular field.
As a result
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, these efforts might pay off in the
long-term
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long term
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. It is considered that hard
work
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, commitment and extra
time
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 are
a
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apply
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well-known ways to follow in order to get a promotion.
However
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, an evident disadvantage of longer working
hours
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 is lack of spare
time
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 for sports and other entertainment which are sufficient for physical and
menal
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mental
health
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.
Besides
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, an
awerage
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average
 worker is working for 8
hours
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 a day sitting at the desk, that has an
harmul
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harmful
 effect on posture and
health
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 in general.
That is
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 why
,
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apply
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 it is vital to find
time
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 for physical activities. On top of that, extra
time
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work
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 might lead to a shortage of
time
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 for joyful activities
such
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 as reading and going out.
Undoubtledly
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Undoubtedly
, it may well lead to
burn
Wrong verb form
burning
show examples
 out which is adverse for mental
health
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. To conclude, there are
definitaly
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definitely
 some benefits of extra working
hours
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such
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 as
a
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apply
show examples
professional development and increasing of a
sallary
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salary
as a result
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.
However
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,
health
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 is
fmuch
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much
 more important than money and promotion. So, it is essential to
live
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living
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 in balance to stay
phisically
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physically
 and mentally strong which is impossible if rest and entertainment are neglected.
Submitted by Lera93.smol on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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