Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that we are living in a world in which the majority of
children
highly own
choices
on everyday
matters
as a whole more than ever before. Some people believe that allowing
children
to make their own
choices
in everyday
matters
will help them move up the ladder of success
while
others
believe that allowing
children
to make their own
choices
on everyday
matters
is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. I suppose that allowing
children
to make their own
choices
on everyday
matters
is not good, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. Those who support allowing
children
to make their own
choices
on everyday
matters
claim that
this
will help
children
develop confidence. They say that
children
will learn to explore their interests and express their opinions. They
also
argue that
children
will be more happy if they can choose what they like.
However
,
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
view certain risks still exist.
For example
,
children
may not have enough knowledge or experience to make wise or healthy
choices
. They may choose to eat junk food, watch movies, or play games all day, which could harm their physical and mental
Others
oppose allowing
children
to make their own
choices
on everyday
matters
and claim that
this
will result in a society of individuals who only think about their wishes. They say that
children
will not learn to cooperate or share with
others
.
Besides
that
children
will not develop a sense of responsibility, duty, or morality if they do not have to consider the impact of their
choices
on themselves and
others
.
However
,
this
view may
also
have some weaknesses.
For instance
,
children
may feel frustrated, oppressed, or alienated, if they have no say or control over their own lives. They may lose their curiosity, creativity, or enthusiasm if they have to follow what
others
dictate, rather than what they enjoy. In conclusion, there is indeed a range of benefits when
children
are free to decide some daily
matters
, I believe too high autonomy sometimes reversely affects their development.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to clearly distinguish between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the organization of your essay by arranging ideas logically and making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Ensure you discuss both views mentioned in the prompt before stating your own opinion. This will help in achieving a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore a single main idea in depth, using examples or further explanation, rather than presenting multiple undeveloped points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomy
  • Consequence-awareness
  • Self-centered
  • Informal decision-making education
  • Child development
  • Age-appropriate choices
  • Cognitive growth
  • Fostering independence
  • Parental guidance
  • Societal norms
  • Interpersonal consideration
  • Balance of freedom
  • Individualism versus collectivism
  • Experience-based learning
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