Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #adolescents

this

day and age, there are increasingly individuals becoming well-known for just their richness and appearance rather than their hard work and true talents, which creates wrong conceptions. To a certain extent, I would agree that while

this

phenomenon exerts numerous negative impacts on juveniles, there are still some renowned showing their true talents and conveying meaningful messages to the young. On the one hand, juveniles tend to look up to their idols as perfect models with some misconceived perceptions.

Thus

, they would pursue affluence and their outward attractiveness regardless of their lack of affordability.

In addition

, students may neglect their academic performance and pay more attention to their flashy looks and how much their clothing items cost.

Therefore

, these misleading b

ehaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

would produce many adverse effects on teenagers.

On the other hand

, a large number of celebrities are still trying their best to f

ulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their accomplishments with their real abilities.

Thus

, the adolescents could learn a lot from their ethical virtues and be inspired by the core values that they contribute to society.

For example

, the gorgeous actress Angelina Jolie has been doing her best at raising funds to help orphans from all around the world, and she even adopted some of them.

Therefore

, the stories of

such

kind renowned people should be spread more to the juveniles To recapitulate, that people become famous due to their wealth and attraction may not be a good example, I believe that there are still well-known individuals whose morality can be taken as models for the adolescents.

Submitted by Andy on Fri Nov 19 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to immigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can case serious social problems, as well as practical problems. to what extent do you agree or disagree with thia statement?

Cyber insecurity is a rising problem in many countries. What problems does a lack of cyber security cause to Internet users? What solutions can you suggest to solve it?