Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #adolescents

this

day and age, there are increasingly individuals becoming well-known for just their richness and appearance rather than their hard work and true talents, which creates wrong conceptions. To a certain extent, I would agree that while

this

phenomenon exerts numerous negative impacts on juveniles, there are still some renowned showing their true talents and conveying meaningful messages to the young. On the one hand, juveniles tend to look up to their idols as perfect models with some misconceived perceptions.

Thus

, they would pursue affluence and their outward attractiveness regardless of their lack of affordability.

In addition

, students may neglect their academic performance and pay more attention to their flashy looks and how much their clothing items cost.

Therefore

, these misleading b

ehaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

would produce many adverse effects on teenagers.

On the other hand

, a large number of celebrities are still trying their best to f

ulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their accomplishments with their real abilities.

Thus

, the adolescents could learn a lot from their ethical virtues and be inspired by the core values that they contribute to society.

For example

, the gorgeous actress Angelina Jolie has been doing her best at raising funds to help orphans from all around the world, and she even adopted some of them.

Therefore

, the stories of

such

kind renowned people should be spread more to the juveniles To recapitulate, that people become famous due to their wealth and attraction may not be a good example, I believe that there are still well-known individuals whose morality can be taken as models for the adolescents.

Submitted by Andy on Fri Nov 19 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this is a bad example to adolescents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think traffic and housing problems in big cities can be solved by moving companies and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity? (Write 250 words.)

some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. ohters believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future , such as those related to science and technology. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that childen should be involved in making their rules while other says only adults should be creating their rules. Discuss both views and give e your opinio .

In some countries, the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?