Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sport

Different strokes for different folks. A good Sport should be a source of entertainment both for the participants

as well as

for the spectators. Some individuals argue that some

sports

activities should be legalized.

This

is mainly because it is not safe for human beings.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, others think that people have all the rights and they are independent to take part in any game activities.

This

essay

shall intend

Wrong verb form

intends

show examples

to delve into both views and will elaborate on my perspective in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, some hazardous

sports

like bungee jumping, scuba diving, rock climbing and so on are very dangerous and cause serious injuries. To explain it, some people open a business in a hill station for the money but they do not have good trainers and are oblivious about the negative effects of adventure games.

Due to

this

, sometimes tourists suffer from perilous injuries.

For instance

, a recent survey in SGL hospital, Shimla showed that 70% of folks in the emergency department are accidental cases and the reason behind

this

scene is reckless motor car racing.

However

, dangerous

sports

are recreational activities for some communities. They are crazy to ride as it removes their stress and relaxes them. One piece of evidence for

this

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research

Change preposition

show examples

Cambridge University revealed that during bungee jumping, the company has the rule to fill

the

Change preposition

out the

show examples

application form and

maximum

Correct article usage

a maximum

show examples

participants say that the reason why they choose to do is just for fun and to get themselves away from their boring life.

Consequently

, the government should think out of the box and make some strict rules and regulations for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society so that nobody is injured during any ride

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a well-trained mentor who knows about the advantages and disadvantages of desperate

sports

. To recapitulate, it can be seen that

sports

play an imperative role and there are multifarious rides which are very harmful and

left

Wrong verb form

leave

show examples

a big scar on the

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

of human beings. So, it is recommended that

this

should be followed in an organized way so that everyone would have access to it effortlessly.

Submitted by prabhjotkaur9520 on Sat Nov 20 2021

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task response

Ensure that the essay addresses the prompt directly and discusses both views thoroughly.

coherence cohesion

Improve the organization of ideas and use clear transition words to create better cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

350 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays employment options are changing and employees cannot rely on having the same job and working conditions throughout their life. What are some possible causes? Suggest some ways to plan for the future under these circumstances.

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?