IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local films?

#people #films #be #governments #support
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Nowadays,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 like to watch more non-native language
films
Use synonyms
 rather than regional
films
Use synonyms
.
The movies
Correct article usage
Movies
show examples
 from other languages
such
Linking Words
 as Korean, Spanish, English, and Chinese have become more popular in native places. There could be several reasons for
this
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 trend, and it is good if domestic
films
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 get support from their governments. There
are
Change the verb form
is
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multitude
Add an article
a multitude
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 of reasons why people show more interest in foreign
films
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. The
first
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 reason is quality, budget and more thoughtful content. Considering the immense significance of visualization for a movie, the producers of that
film
Use synonyms
 should spend
adequate
Correct article usage
an adequate
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 budget on graphics, rich costumes, settings, transportation and other animations. And, the stories based on extra-terrestrial knowledge, science, fiction and
adventurous
Replace the word
adventure
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 are more interesting subjects. The
second
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 reason is cast and crew. In view of economic perspective, they choose
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 famous actors to portray characters to grab public attention. To epitome, "Avatar" is the Hollywood
film
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 which grossed
the
Correct article usage
a
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 profit of 1 billion during the
first
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 week because of only visuals, strong subject and casting. To produce
such
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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big budget
Add a hyphen
big-budget
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 action movies and graphics-based movies,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time is the challenging factor. The local directors
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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 capable of creating
such
Linking Words
films
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 but the producers don't come forward to take up
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
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 due to fear of loss and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
long-time management. Here, in
this
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 case, if
government
Add an article
the government
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 allows distributors for unlimited shows per day or premier shows without restrictions during the
first
Linking Words
 week and the financial aid for
Use synonyms
film
Add an article
the film
show examples
 while making,
local
Add an article
the local
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film
Use synonyms
 industry can generate revenue as expected.
For instance
Linking Words
, Switzerland invested 50% of the share
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
film
Use synonyms
 "Vikings" to promote tourism. In conclusion, there is a huge demand for employment in the
film
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 industry, so the government should provide support in the growth of regional
film
Use synonyms
 industries.
Therefore
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, native countries can
also
Linking Words
 produce
such
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films
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by puru.sharma36 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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