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Band 6.5

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #person #phone #access #internet #money #unemployment
Some
people
 think the government should give a mobile phone so that they can reduce the rate of unemployment. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement as those can
use
 it for the wrong purpose.
This
 essay will discuss them. Receiving a mobile phone does not mean those who do not have jobs will
use
 it to find a job. They might
use
 it to do other things,
such
 as chatting with friends and playing games.
This
 action does not meet the need of the officials, resulting in a waste of taxes. On top of that, some countries give money to unemployed
people
.
As a result
, they may be unwilling to find works even if they get a mobile phone.
Hence
, receiving it cannot help
people
 to desire to work.
Moreover
, some
people
 may
use
 it wrongly,
such
 as selling drugs. Having access to the internet can help them to increase the number of customers that live in different regions and other countries.
As a result
, the percentage of drug-addicted
people
 rise dramatically, leading to negative effects on citizens.
For example
, they may induce their children to buy it, making them addicted. After that, they want the drug so much that they can steal other
people
’ money and commit a crime for getting it. Their society may be
unsecure
Correct your spelling
unsecured
. You can clearly see that
instead
 of reducing unemployed
people
, it can affect everyone negatively. All in all, unemployed
people
 can
use
 it in a way
that is
 not involved with finding a job, so I think
this
 suggestion cannot help to solve
this
 problem directly.
Submitted by palmpppm on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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