With an increasing overweight population some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?

#population #people #universities #sport #module #courses

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According to the rise of the number of

obesity

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obese

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people

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, some

people

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believe that

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sport

Change the noun form

sports

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courses should be included in

universities

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courses for all

degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

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. I firmly believe that

this

Linking Words

is an excellent way to solve

this

Linking Words

problem. In the following paragraphs, I will give my reasons to support my idea.

Firstly

Linking Words

sport

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plays an important role

for

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improving

one

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's health, so in order to lose

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weight

Add a comma

,weight

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one

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should do more

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

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. By enforcing all students to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

Use synonyms

sport

Change the noun form

sports

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courses will give them a lot of benefits.

However

Linking Words

, the direct result that they will receive is being fit and firm.

For instance

Linking Words

, some

universities

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students did not care about going to the gym or playing sports. They just focused

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studying, and they sat all

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

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Consequently

Linking Words

, they gained

weight

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Therefore

Linking Words

universities

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should promote and require all students to play

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sport

Add an article

the sport

a sport

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in order to get rid of

this

Linking Words

issue.

Secondly

Linking Words

, studying at

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universities

Correct article usage

the universities

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level

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is difficult. It may cause

the

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high

level

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stress

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. Many researchers revealed that

stress

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was

one

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of the key factors that led

people

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gaining

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to gain

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weight

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Nevertheless

Linking Words

one

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can reduce the

stress

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level

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by playing sports.

For example

Linking Words

, playing soccer with friends can help

people

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to be more relaxed. It will

stregthen

Correct your spelling

strengthen

both physically and mentally.

Thus

Linking Words

universities

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should add

this

Linking Words

course as a compulsory module to reduce

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level

Add an article

the level

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stress

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. In conclusion, it is

the

Change the article

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good idea for

univerisities

Correct your spelling

universities

to add

sport

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mandatory

Add an article

a mandatory

show examples

course, since it could lead to many benefits

such

Linking Words

weight

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loss, healthy, and reducing

stress

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Therefore

Linking Words

, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

idea.

Submitted by kanokwann.joy on Sat Nov 20 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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With an increasing overweight population some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?

Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think the money spent on developing technology for space exploration is not justified. However, there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In several parts of the world, humans live near protected areas that preserve and protect wildlife. what problems could this situation cause? what solutions you can suggest?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?