Compared to our parent’s generation, life has become much more stressful. As a result, stress-related illnesses are on the increase around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?
In comparison
to earlier periods, people have suffered more stress.
Therefore
,
certain typical illnesses, Linking Words
such
as depression, have become wider. Linking Words
This
essay will analyze what factors lead to Linking Words
this
phenomenon and provide some measures to overcome
Linking Words
To begin
with, overabundant Linking Words
work
hour is a primary reason, which results in mental diseases. Use synonyms
This
is because excessive Linking Words
work
not only affects the mental aspect but Use synonyms
also
exacerbates physical health, ultimately causing a vicious cycle. Linking Words
Furthermore
, companies usually implant a concept that spending significant time on a job will be successful. Linking Words
As a result
, not surprisingly, individuals' health will consistently deteriorate, eventually leading to certain illnesses.
Linking Words
Accordingly
, creating some measures to improve the problems is vitally important.
Linking Words
Initially
, constructing a comfortable environment to Linking Words
work
may be a suitable method. Use synonyms
This
ensures that employees can have a positive attitude to confront many challenges. Linking Words
For instance
, modelling an entertainment room, a large space gym, and a buffet room can provide adequate physical satisfaction for employees. Linking Words
However
, many experts indicate that the physical aspect can merely alleviate the dissatisfaction of humanity; Linking Words
conversely
, dealing with mental issues is a true answer.
To achieve healthier mental development, establishing comprehensive company policies might be appropriate. Linking Words
For example
, companies can offer additional revenue for workers Linking Words
while
they over working, thereby ensuring employees' salary satisfaction. At the same time, regular mental assessment is equally significant to avoid people accumulating abundant pressures. With these measures, individuals can considerably improve their job stress, prevent some mental diseases, and eventually have a healthier body to face many difficulties.
Linking Words
To sum up
, Too much stress at Linking Words
work
is an important element, which leads to certain diseases. Use synonyms
Therefore
, providing some facilities to assist humans in relaxing their pressures is vital, Linking Words
while
it can only deal with their dissatisfaction. Linking Words
Consequently
, methods, Linking Words
such
as additional wages and health evaluation may be more effective to prevent mental disease, thereby creating a healthier body.Linking Words
Submitted by daniellin0717 on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task, identifying reasons for stress in the modern world and offering solutions. However, the introduction could be made clearer by explicitly stating the main points you will cover.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on making your transitions between paragraphs smoother. Ensuring each paragraph logically follows the previous one will help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
For better task achievement, further develop your ideas with more specific examples and details. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task response
Your essay presents a clear and comprehensible discussion on the causes of stress and suggests practical solutions.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as the importance of physical and mental health facilities in the workplace, which help illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are organized in a logical manner, each focusing on a specific aspect of the problem or solution.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.