IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job whereas others Advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most believe that workers should avail the same position at the workplace throughout their working journey,
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, others disagree and think that adapting different jobs constantly is a good practice. I believe that the latter policy is beneficial to employees in several ways and is the best option. Some insist that staying permanently in a specific category of the job throughout the lifetime is advantageous.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is
largely
Replace the adverb
large

It appears that the adverb largely should be an adjective. Consider replacing it.

show examples
 because people prefer Job satisfaction and respect at work as the seniority level gives them a feeling of being expert in the post they perform and self-respect.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, my colleague at my former workplace worked as a bank teller for 16 years and never changed her office for the reason that clients love her service and she gets a lot of respect from staff as well as customers.
Conversely
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some assume that it is more advantageous to transfer from career constantly,
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 work change gives a new start, meet new team members and utilise creativity and innovation at work premises.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, at my new activity, I get a lot of flexibility to do my operation in an efficient manner ,unlike my previous post where new ideas were unwelcome.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,in my opinion, people should invite changes in their life and one of the ways to achieve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 is the fulfilment of purpose and transformation by being adaptable to changes and trying varied jobs to get a handful of experience. To conclude, it depends on every individual according to their own preferences where they want to employ themselves at the same job or if they want a change. From my perspective, getting accustomed to different jobs allows getting hands-on various tasks. And
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 gives an opportunity to avail new experiences

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job security
  • stability
  • financial insecurity
  • expertise
  • advance their careers
  • promotions
  • pay raises
  • recognition
  • personal and professional growth
  • work environments
  • responsibilities
  • skill set
  • adaptability
  • job satisfaction
  • mental health
  • stuck
  • stagnant
  • lucrative
  • job offers
  • commitment
  • instability
  • retirement plans
What to do next:
Look at other essays: