IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that sports play an important role in society. Others think it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Do You agree or disagree?

#people #sports #role #society #leisure #activity
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Sports
Use synonyms
 has long been around since ancient times. While a number of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is essential in a community,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 assume that it is no more than a mere hobby. I disagree and think that physical activities are an important asset in
a
Remove the article
apply
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society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, sporting events elevate life qualities. Numerous
people
Use synonyms
 gather together to play games
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 magnifies each other’s relationship.
For instance
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, a football game consists of eleven
player
Change to a plural noun
players
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 and to win the match, trust and teamwork is required.
Thus
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,
sports
Use synonyms
 can cause the town folks to become closer and cooperative.
Additionally
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, if the city has
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
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 own
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 game or team
that is
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 famous worldwide, it can attract tourists and boost the economy. To elaborate more detail, Manchester in England
is know
Change the verb form
is known
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 for the football team. Many
people
Use synonyms
 visit the city to watch the match being
Correct article usage
a player
show examples
player
Replace the word
played
show examples
 which is beneficial for the locals.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, physical activities uplift
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
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 well-being. Exercising and moving causes the
Correct your spelling
heart rate
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heartrate
Correct your spelling
heart rate
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 to raise; it is necessary for maintaining
a
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apply
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good health. To be precise, playing basketball for children or casual jogging for adults generate a
highfitness
Correct your spelling
high fitness
 level. The results can be seen in future years because
people
Use synonyms
 will have a stronger immune system to fight off diseases or illnesses. Another reason is
sports
Use synonyms
 produce energy for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
civilians.
People
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 become more active and engage in their daily lives resulting in higher-level
achivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
achievement
. To illustrate, after exercising, a baker can invent creative desserts
such
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 as lemon tart cupcakes with raspberry fillings. The energy
also
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 provides happiness to each
persons
Change to a singular noun
person
show examples
. To summarize,
sports
Use synonyms
 are necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 society since it contributes to healthy lifestyles and relationship. I believe that it is a major source of connection to
people
Use synonyms
 in a community.
Submitted by IngIng on

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