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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people
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Nowadays, the number of
museums
Use synonyms
 that charge for entrance is more than those that are free. Though
this
Linking Words
 policy leads to some revenue for
museums
Use synonyms
, it may commodify the historical heritage. In my opinion, the advantages of
this
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 event outweigh its disadvantages. The main advantage of charging for admission is that the money received from people will be used for the costs of
museums
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. Just like everywhere,
museums
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also
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 have expenses
such
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 as for the employees, to conserve the historical
antiques
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 and the like.
Moreover
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, it will be used for museum security which is an essential job, that must be done, for
such
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 a place because the
antiques
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 which are being kept there are valuable ones that might lead the criminals irresistible to steal them.
As a result
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, it is obvious that if
museums
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 take money for admission, it can advance its way of management to conserve the
antiques
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 which are there.
On the other hand
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, charging for
museums
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 may cause commodifying historical heritage. When the value of a thing is measured only by its price, its intrinsic value will turn into a commodity. So, if
museums
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 charge for entrance they may forget their main responsibility which is conservation and acquaintance of
antiques
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. The main reason to build
museums
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 is that historical heritages will be kept there for more studies, presenting them and showing people that our ancestor’s way of living.
Therefore
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,
this
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 main responsibility should not be forgotten by charging for admission. All things considered, many galleries tend to take money for entrance and though
this
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 will help them with their expenses, it may lead
museums
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 to commodify the historical heritage. I believe that the advantages of
this
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 policy outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by fghasemi21 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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