Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

#people #home #address

Different strokes for different folks. In recent years, global safety rates

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

observed to decline drastically to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

extent that

people

now feel insecure wherever they are.

This

essay

shall intend

Wrong verb form

intends

show examples

to delve into the main reasons why folks feel unsafe either indoors or outdoors and some preventive measures to overcome

this

issue in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, the obvious cause behind the fear of insecurity among the masses is the surge in the rate of crime. To explain it, as the proportion of unemployment increases, youngsters indulge in bad activities

such

as robbery,

theft

Correct word choice

and theft

show examples

in order to fulfil their dreams and all necessary things.

Consequently

this

inclines to a sense of serious threat in human minds.

For instance

, the crime rate in South Africa is so high that

people

keep pistols all the time for their security.

Furthermore

, the element of male dominance is still prominent among illiterate individuals,

this

is so-called gender equivalent society.

Due to

this

, illegal activities like sexual harassment and domestic violence

raises

Verb problem

arise

show examples

. To illustrate it, a recent survey

Change preposition

show examples

Oxford University revealed that case of rape occurs in only those countries where the percentage of uneducated teenagers are more.

However

, in order to mitigate

this

issue, the government should think out of the box and invent some new technologies to

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

the problem of unemployment . They should give a chance to everyone to show their ability. So that the gap between rich and poor would be decreased.

Moreover

, the authorities should go the extra mile and provide free education

as well as

training.

Because with

Correct word choice

With

show examples

highly educated

people

comes high thinking and

hence

folks will feel safe in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. To recapitulate, it can be seen that the lack of work opportunities

as well as

male dominance nature

along with

high

Replace the word

highly

show examples

literate

people

in society are the most significant causes behind the insecurity. It is recommended that the organisation should invest in the newer employment area in an organised way so that everyone should have access to it.

Submitted by prabhjotkaur9520 on Sun Nov 21 2021

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task response

Ensure a clear and comprehensive response to the task, with relevant and specific examples.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical structure of the essay, and ensure a stronger presence of introduction and conclusion.

lexical resource

Expand and diversify the range of vocabulary used. Pay attention to word choice and accuracy.

grammatical range

Work on the accuracy of grammar and sentence structures. Avoid repetitive use of phrases and improve the variety of sentence structures.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

337 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Perceive
Threat
Crime
Fear
Accident
Natural disaster
Personal security
Trust
Authorities
Social isolation
Loneliness
Media
News coverage
Community safety measures
Personal security awareness
Transparency
Support networks
Community involvement

What to do next:

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Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Holidays honor people and events. if you could create a new holiday, what person or event it would honor and how would you want people to celebrate it ? use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a job,others believe that it woulg be better is they go straight to work and gain experience instead. discuss both sides and give your opinion.