Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is imp for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give opinion.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time #imp

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It is thought by some people that

children

Use synonyms

should be motivated by their

parents

Use synonyms

to participate in organised group activities in their leisure time,

while

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others disagree, stating that

youngsters

Use synonyms

have to make their own decisions.

This

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essay will discuss both aspects of

this

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phenomenon and provide a logical conclusion.

Although

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equipping

children

Use synonyms

with a chance to decide on a desired activity is important, I believe that

this

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decision should be controlled by

parents

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. On the one hand, adolescents can face challenges associated with hesitation.

Firstly

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parents

Use synonyms

are the people who exactly know what would be beneficial for their

kid

Fix the agreement mistake

kids

show examples

For example

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, if one is not sure about his or her abilities in a certain field, experienced

parents

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can launch their

children

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on the right path.

Moreover

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,by attending organised group activities they can broaden their horizons and get a lot of new information.

For example

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, some organised groups that consider travelling would help

youngsters

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to learn more about a variety of overseas cultures and traditions.

On the other hand

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, there are numerous perks of allowing

children

Use synonyms

to engage themselves.

To begin

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with, persuading

youngsters

Use synonyms

to take part in any kind of activity can put undue pressure on them. To move on to more details, it is essential for kids to do what they really want.

Otherwise

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, deprived of motivation, they would have no desire to engage in a boring yet advantageous organisation.

However

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, if they are given an opportunity to select a desired field, they will indulge in their passion,

thus

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reducing stress levels.

To conclude

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, some individuals believe that

children

Use synonyms

are not mature enough to make their own choices and should be supported by

parents

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whereas

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others think that

youngsters

Use synonyms

must learn how to occupy themselves. I believe that

parents

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should promote their

children

Use synonyms

in order to provide them with a chance to get to know the world better.

Submitted by chtpstmy42 on Sun Jun 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss both views, and a conclusion. However, there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that you could refine to improve clarity.

task achievement

You effectively address both aspects of the prompt, and your arguments are logical. To strengthen your task achievement, ensure to elaborate a bit more on each point and provide a little more detailed examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and help in framing the entire essay logically.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion by considering both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cooperation
communication
teamwork
structured activities
belonging
enriching environment
self-reliant
imagination
creativity
overprogramming
spontaneity
unstructured time

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is imp for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both views and give opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believethat they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Human activity has had a negative effect on plants and animal all over the world. Some people think that it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still time to take effective action. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Transport delays and long journey times are a widespread phenomenon in many cities today. What are the causes of this problem, and how could the situation be improved?

Many museums and historical sites are mostly visited by foreign tourists, but not local people. Why do you think it happens? What can be done to attract local visitors to these sites?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.