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Band 4.5

In some countries today, there is an attitude that "anyone can do it" in the arts - music, literature, acting, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #attitude #anyone #arts #music #literature #people #talent
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Nowadays, there are many talentless people, who are successful in the
enternainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 industries. It is easy for them to gain popularity compared with some genuine talented persons. Some share the opinion that the ones with no
talent
 become rich and famous and genuine
talent
 is not valued or appreciated. I personally disagree with
this
 point of view.
First
 of all, these days it is fairly easy to become famous for untalented people by just using modern techniques. Loading up videos or songs on Youtube is possible for everyone and there will be always fans among consumers. There is an increasing number of instant artists entering the entertainment industry which basically just requires their beautiful face and body as prerequisites.
Talent
 or creativity will deplete which tends to create soap operas
instead
 of remarkable profound movies.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 genuine talents like singers or actors become celebrities because of their voice or acting
capacitiy
Correct your spelling
capacity
. They are able to fascinate the audience without any outstanding technology.
For example
, singers like
Withney
Correct your spelling
Whitney
 Houston, Amy Winehouse or Adele will stay famous everlasting.
Moreover
, they are not even well-known but wealthy as well. In general, persons with
talent
 usually are admired in public and do not lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
appreciation. To sum up,
although
 several untalented people become famous and wealthy their career mostly fades away in a short time. Genuine talents,
however
, are well appreciated and valued in our society. Their art is
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
show examples
 even beyond their death.
Submitted by regina-reusch on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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