IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Some
people
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 take a view that the government should send a selected group of prisoners to do the mandatory community
work
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instead
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 of keeping them in prisons. In my opinion, it could be a decent practice and one of the possible solutions to the convict's rehabilitation. Others who oppose
this
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 practice argue that individuals should suffer for their crimes and spend their sentences under the harsh conditions in the cell.
Furthermore
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, there is an opinion that using mandatory
work
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 might be considered as a form of forced labour or modern slavery as it is often difficult to make sure that
people
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 actually volunteer to participate in
such
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work
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.
Therefore
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,
such
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 practices should be avoided.
However
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, despite all arguments mentioned above, there are certain advantages of community
work
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 that could not be ignored. One of the key problems that the government and society face when it comes to crime is the high rates of recidivism, meaning that the majority of convicts violate the law again after the release. One of the root causes of
this
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 problem is the stigma associated with prison. By choosing other forms of punishment for the ones who have committed light and non-violent crimes governments could facilitate the alleviation of the recidivism problem and prevent
people
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 from becoming life-long criminals. To conclude,
although
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 there is an opinion that the prison should be the only acceptable way of punishment because it is strict and protect
people
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 from slavery, I argue that community
work
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 is important if we want to decrease the recidivism rate.
Submitted by foklacu on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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