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Writing Samples
Band 5

By rising the members of smokers, some countries have passed laws against

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Introduction
Smoking in public
areas
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as offices and
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, other countries are not with
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 attitude. It seems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 smoking in public
places
Use synonyms
 can disturb
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other none-smokers,
such
Linking Words
 as lung disease or cancers
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. So, I disagree with smoking in public buildings.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the counties that attention to passing laws against smoking tobacco in public
places
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as restaurants, café and shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, have
causes
Change the verb form
caused
show examples
 for supporting that attitude.
Firstly
Linking Words
, smoking
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
 in public
areas
Use synonyms
 can
polluted
Wrong verb form
pollute
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air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 so,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
end
Add a comma
,end
show examples
 it would be dangerous for
people
Use synonyms
, who have
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 and cancer same as, aged
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 is very destructive and is
Use synonyms
cause
Add an article
the cause
a cause
show examples
 of tending
people
Use synonyms
 to smoke everywhere and addicted to that.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 maybe could have lung disease or cancer with irreparable problems.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents with that vision based on some causes, tend to have
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 possibility to
smoking
Wrong verb form
smoke
show examples
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
 every public where. The
first
Linking Words
cause
Use synonyms
 is, smokers should be relaxed in public
areas
Use synonyms
 and could have emotional satisfaction with smoking. So, they can have some
places
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as smoking rooms in public buildings. The
second
Linking Words
 one is, for
pairment
Correct your spelling
payment
impairment
 or obesity
people
Use synonyms
 is impossible to
changing
Change the verb
change
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 or movement for smoking.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if these smokers hang out with their family or friends in public, they will face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems.
However
Linking Words
,I disagree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 causes and smoking in public.
Conclusion
In conclusion, countries that opponent
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
smoking in public
areas
Use synonyms
cause
Use synonyms
 of reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lung cancers and disease, in other side countries that no attention to passing laws against smoking in
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
cause
Use synonyms
 of comfortable
places
Use synonyms
 for smokers and let them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be relaxed. But I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 vision.

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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