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Band 7

Many people go to university for acadamic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualifed workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #acadamic #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
It’s obvious that many
people
 pursue the dream of entering
university
 for academic studies. It can’t be denied that
university
 graduates have a great chance of a good job in the future, I strongly agree that we should encourage more
people
 to take part in vocational training for skilled
workers
 as electricians or plumbers … There are several reasons why more
people
 should be encouraged to enrol in vocational training.
Firstly
, tradesman plays a very important role in maintaining social activities. We need skilled
workers
 in all areas of human being activities.
For instance
, when a building is constructed, we need
workers
 to build it up. And, to ensure the safety of use of buildings
such
 as hospitals, museums, schools, roads, we
also
 need them for maintenance.
Secondly
, when most
people
 choose to study at
university
, it causes an imbalance of labour demand which leads to the unemployment of
university
 graduates but lack of
people
 to do manual works. More
people
 must be encouraged to attend vocational training courses. The onus is on schools to incorporate relevant subjects into the curriculum
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that not all the emphasis is placed on preparation for academic study at
university
. Many boys and girls are not academically inclined, but
this
 doesn't mean that school should consider them as failures.
For example
, workshops in schools could provide an opportunity to learn " hands-on skills", adapting the theory of the physics lessons to practical applications. Parents should
also
 help children to choose vocational careers, explaining the good employment prospects and remuneration for manual
workers
 with qualifications and skills. In conclusion, while studying at
university
 is a good option for most young
people
, I still agree that we should encourage more
people
 to go for vocational training for skilled
workers
 in order to ensure the balance of employment in society.
Submitted by haunguyen1829 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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