Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentence. Other, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentence #alternative

It is true that crime is one of the pressing problems across the globe and all countries are trying to deal with

this

issue . Some people argue that making the duration of prison sentences longer can help to solve

this

issue ; while others disagree with

this

view and agree that there are other effective ways to combat

this

problem . In my opinion , I take the view that there are other ways that can fight

this

issue . On the one hand , it is considered by many people that making severe punishment for those who commit crimes can be an effective solution . if a person is already aware of the intensity of punishment before committing any atrocities, it will discourage him from becoming a criminal.

Hence

, imposing strict punishment deters people from committing crimes .

On the other hand

, I believe that alternative ways

such

as providing proper learning facilities and employment can solve the issues far more effectively. Sufficient education and job opportunities keep individuals busy and away from crimes.

For example

, in Sweden education is free for everyone and the country’s authority is continuously working for more employment opportunities.

That is

the reason why Sweden tops the list of peaceful countries where the crime rate is almost ignorable. In conclusion, longer prison terms certainly instil fear in the minds of potential criminals and discourage them from committing offences.

However

, eradicating the root cause of crime by providing learning and employment opportunities is a far better option.

Submitted by molfruit7 on Mon Nov 22 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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