International sporting events could contribute greatly to peace and stability in the world. Do you agree or disagree? Support your opinion with relevant examples
It is common that the global
events
in different kinds of sport could be a magnificent factor, which lead
to spread peace and development. I Change the verb form
leads
am completely agree
with Change the verb form
completely agree
this
fact, in this
essay, i
will Change the capitalization
I
expalin
in Correct your spelling
explain
details
what is the outcome of increasing the number of these Fix the agreement mistake
detail
events
in the world.
Enlargement the number of global sporting events
in different countries could be effect
positively on the economy. Correct your spelling
affect
For example
, tourism could be increased which will lead to more in income
Add an article
the income
of
the country. Change preposition
apply
In addition
, sport becomes one of the most essential source
of revenue Change to a plural noun
sources
to
many Change preposition
in
Change to a plural noun
countries
country
, Change the noun form
countries
such
as Brazil.
Furthermore
, sporting events
could be a paramount reason of
spreading peace between nations. To illustrate, Change preposition
for
sport
itself called upon tolerance which means acceptance of whenever you win or lose. Add an article
the sport
Which
means the ability Correct pronoun usage
This
of being
Replace the preposition
to be
tolerent
will surely affect Correct your spelling
tolerant
on
the peace of countries. Change preposition
apply
Moreover
, being acquainted with different cultures will absolutely ending
in Wrong verb form
end
broaden
everyone's horizons.
In conclusion, whenever more global sporting Wrong verb form
broadening
events
took place that would be a high
important thing with many positives aspects on the individuals and on the countries itself. I hope in the future that Replace the word
highly
this
Change the determiner
this event
these events
events
will be expand
.Change the verb form
be expanded
be expanding
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite