IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is believed that women are more suited to child-rearing than men. What is your opinion on this issue?

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I will now begin my presentation. I am going to talk about how far
price
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 influences
people
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 to buy
products
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 and what
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other drive
people
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 to buy
products
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.
Consumer
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Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 has been researched over the past few decades. It is possible to affect
people
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 to make a decision about purchasing a
product
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 by reason of its
price
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. I will discuss the other aspects which have an impact on the customer's buying. There are two different types of
the
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apply
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situations
which
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in which
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 customers attempt to buy
expensive
Add an article
the expensive
an expensive
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commodity
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commodities
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.
Firstly
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, using exorbitant
products
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 represents
people
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's social
state
Correct your spelling
status
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.
For example
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, wealthy families always keep up with new trends as they have to fit into their rich community.
Secondly
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, a rare good or a limited edition
product
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 is likely to attract
people
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 to
purchasewithout
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purchase without
 considering its
price
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.
This
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 is because the goods will enhance their value after a couple of
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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years.
People
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 think
these
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of these
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 special items as an investment, which results in the
price
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 is not really an issue to influence their choice.
On the other hand
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, other
factors
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,
such
Linking Words
 as the quality of the
products
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 and
brand
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 name,
also
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 have
their
Change the word
an
show examples
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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 on the
consumer
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's decision. There is no doubt that the majority of consumers always pursue a
well- quality
Correct your spelling
well-quality
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 commodity and desire to have a
brand
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 name
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. A
high quality
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high-quality
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product
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 not only can be used much longer
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 gives a convenient use for
people
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's lives. In terms of
brand
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 name
products
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, sometimes it is a key factor to attract
people
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 to buy as it can be resold in the
second hand
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second-hand
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 market. When a person is motivated enough, it influences the buying
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behavior
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behaviour
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 of the person. A person has many needs
such
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 as
the
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apply
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social needs, basic needs, security needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs. Out of all these needs, the basic needs and security needs take a position
above all
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 other needs.
Hence
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 basic needs and security needs have the power to motivate a
consumer
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 to buy
products
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 and services. Consumers have certain
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attitude
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attitudes
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 and beliefs which influence the buying decisions of a
consumer
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. Based on
this
Linking Words
attitude
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, the
consumer
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 behaves in a particular way towards a
product
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.
This
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attitude
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 plays a significant role in defining the
brand
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 image of a
product
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.
Hence
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,
the
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apply
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marketers try hard to understand the
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attitude
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attitudes
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 of a
consumer
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 to design their marketing campaigns. Humans are social beings and they live around many
people
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 who influence their buying
behavior
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.
Human
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Humans
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 try to imitate other humans and
also
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 wish to be socially accepted in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Hence
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 their buying
behavior
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 is influenced by other
people
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 around them. These
factors
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 are considered as social
factors
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. Some of the social
factors
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 are: In conclusion,
although
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 some specific consumers tend to buy exorbitant goods
due to
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 show their social state and
seem
Correct your spelling
see
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 them as an investment, other
factors
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alsoplay
Correct your spelling
also play
 an important part of
role
Add an article
the role
a role
show examples
 in affecting buying choice.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • child-rearing
  • caregiver
  • social constructs
  • nurturing
  • gender roles
  • stereotypes
  • paternity leave
  • co-parenting
  • development
  • economic pressures
  • primary caregiver
  • gender biases
  • fluidity of roles
  • societal norms
  • inherent differences
What to do next:
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