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Band 4

It is believed that women are more suited to child-rearing than men. What is your opinion on this issue?

#women #men
I will now begin my presentation. I am going to talk about how far
price
 influences
people
 to buy
products
 and what
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other drive
people
 to buy
products
.
Consumer
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 has been researched over the past few decades. It is possible to affect
people
 to make a decision about purchasing a
product
 by reason of its
price
. I will discuss the other aspects which have an impact on the customer's buying. There are two different types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
situations
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 customers attempt to buy
expensive
Add an article
the expensive
an expensive
show examples
commodity
Fix the agreement mistake
commodities
show examples
.
Firstly
, using exorbitant
products
 represents
people
's social
state
Correct your spelling
status
show examples
.
For example
, wealthy families always keep up with new trends as they have to fit into their rich community.
Secondly
, a rare good or a limited edition
product
 is likely to attract
people
 to
purchasewithout
Correct your spelling
purchase without
 considering its
price
.
This
 is because the goods will enhance their value after a couple of
few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
years.
People
 think
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 special items as an investment, which results in the
price
 is not really an issue to influence their choice.
On the other hand
, other
factors
,
such
 as the quality of the
products
 and
brand
 name,
also
 have
their
Change the word
an
show examples
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 on the
consumer
's decision. There is no doubt that the majority of consumers always pursue a
well- quality
Correct your spelling
well-quality
show examples
 commodity and desire to have a
brand
 name
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. A
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
product
 not only can be used much longer
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 gives a convenient use for
people
's lives. In terms of
brand
 name
products
, sometimes it is a key factor to attract
people
 to buy as it can be resold in the
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
show examples
 market. When a person is motivated enough, it influences the buying
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of the person. A person has many needs
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social needs, basic needs, security needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs. Out of all these needs, the basic needs and security needs take a position
above all
 other needs.
Hence
 basic needs and security needs have the power to motivate a
consumer
 to buy
products
 and services. Consumers have certain
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 and beliefs which influence the buying decisions of a
consumer
. Based on
this
attitude
, the
consumer
 behaves in a particular way towards a
product
.
This
attitude
 plays a significant role in defining the
brand
 image of a
product
.
Hence
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marketers try hard to understand the
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 of a
consumer
 to design their marketing campaigns. Humans are social beings and they live around many
people
 who influence their buying
behavior
.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
show examples
 try to imitate other humans and
also
 wish to be socially accepted in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Hence
 their buying
behavior
 is influenced by other
people
 around them. These
factors
 are considered as social
factors
. Some of the social
factors
 are: In conclusion,
although
 some specific consumers tend to buy exorbitant goods
due to
 show their social state and
seem
Correct your spelling
see
show examples
 them as an investment, other
factors
alsoplay
Correct your spelling
also play
 an important part of
role
Add an article
the role
a role
show examples
 in affecting buying choice.
Submitted by nslimited26 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • child-rearing
  • caregiver
  • social constructs
  • nurturing
  • gender roles
  • stereotypes
  • paternity leave
  • co-parenting
  • development
  • economic pressures
  • primary caregiver
  • gender biases
  • fluidity of roles
  • societal norms
  • inherent differences
What to do next:
Look at other essays: