Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion??

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is undeniable that

music

is a good gate to bring

people

emotion to be in the good moods or it can make

people

release from stress. Despite I believe that

music

is a good way to be close to different

cultures

and

ages

, I assert that not all kinds of

music

cannot bring together for some diversities.

To begin

with, it is true that most

people

from all over the world used to listen to

music

even others love listening to foreign

music

In other words

people

from the world are able to listen to

music

easily with the aid of advanced technology and social media.

For example

, nowadays, TikTok, a famous application, was used to entertain different cultural

music

and all type of

ages

are using

this

media platform by entertaining using foreign

music

Therefore

, it leads them to be together all different

cultures

and close to each other with the aid of

music

On the other hand

, since

people

are human beings and they have devotion about their cultural countries and

ages

For instance

, older

people

will surely not like the upgraded model

music

like rock

music

Similarly

, only citizens who love to listen to

music

which is composed about their country or regarding revolution and other traditional

music

are unable to make to be unity in different

cultures

. To sum up,

music

is a good carrier among the

people

in the world to be close to each other but I agree that it is partially true and it cannot make

people

be together of different

cultures

and

ages

in some conditions.

Submitted by sandarmyint740 on Tue Nov 23 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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