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Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Some
people
 argue that
people
 should pay more money on buying sugary
products
 in order to reduce the
health
 problems caused by
sugar
. Personally, I disagree with the idea to increase the
price
 of sugary
products
, because I believe that there is a more advisable way to reach that. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to raise the
price
 of
products
 with a high level of
sugar
.
Firstly
,
Add a hyphen
increasing-price
show examples
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 cannot forbid
people
 from eating
sugar
.
For example
, they can add more
sugar
 to their homemade food, leading to the same consequences that they still intake too much
sugar
.
Secondly
, it is unequal to the manufacturers whose major in producing sugary food, because the high
price
 of their
products
 may reduce their sales which result in a declining financial trend.
Finally
, buying expensive
products
 are regarded as a sign of high financial status by some
people
 nowadays, so it is possible that it may attract more
people
 to purchase it. In my opinion, it is more vital for the government to raise citizens‘ awareness of
sugar
-caused
health
 problems. The
health
 problems caused by
sugar
 are still not recognised by the majority of
people
, which contribute to the constant intake of
sugar
products
. So the essential measure we should take to make
people
 consume less
sugar
 is to deepen their understanding of
sugar
 effects,
for example
, we can set courses about
health
 issues in the
first
 and secondary school that children sometimes ingest more
sugar
 than adults, as well as the universities, some companies and in hospitals. The government can
also
 establish laws to enforce manufacturers to print the disadvantages of
sugar
 in their
products
' packages to warn
people
 who intend to eat
this
. In conclusion, I believe it is more important to raise individual awareness of
sugar
-caused
health
 issues
instead
 of setting a higher
price
 for sugary
products
.
Submitted by 1044191048 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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