IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that government should provide assistance to all kind of artists including painter musician and poets etc. however other people think that it is a waste of money discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #government #assistance #artists #painter #musician #poets #waste #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Art
 has always been the spirit of each culture and the
artists
 are the ones who create
this
 spirit. There are some opposing ideas around providing some
assisstance
Correct your spelling
assistance
 to all kinds of
artists
. Some
people
 believe that
artists
 must be helped by the authority and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others consider
this
 action as a waste of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 budget. I believe that the government should value the
artists
 and their efforts by supporting them mentally and financially. Some
people
 believe that the
artists
 must be supported as they can give a characteristic to a society. A poem can show the history and the culture of a community, A painting and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other types of visual
art
 like photographs can attract more tourists and expand the tourism industry. A lot of countries can find a reputation only by a piece of
art
. Louvre
musuem
Correct your spelling
museum
, as an instance,
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 millions of tourists which can be a great aid to support the tourism industry. Not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 care about
art
 and
plargarism
Correct your spelling
plagiarism
 and lack of
copy
Correct your spelling
copyright
show examples
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
 are common crimes in different societies which can truly hurt each artist mentally and financially. It is the governments' responsibility to control and prevent these crimes from happening and provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
thorough support for all
artists
. Some
people
 do not consider
art
 as an essential element in society and believe that public money should be spent on other activities
such
 as scientific researches rather than
art
.
Although
 science, agriculture and the other fields are really important,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
 should be considered as important as them. As it helps
people
 to feel more relaxed and prevent depression. Not only does it give the spirit to the society, but
also
 it can increase the employment rate in each country. We should all be aware that not all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 are interested in science or mathematics and there are
people
 who can perform really well in different
art related
Add a hyphen
art-related
show examples
 topics. In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is really crucial for each government to support the
artists
 in order to motivate them to nourish the culture and literature of the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: