IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that wild animals should not be kept in zoos or other man-made environments as there is no longer a need for them in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #animals #zoos #environments #st #century
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A certain number of the public think that forest
animals
 must live in the natural environment
instead
 of
constrained
Add a missing verb
being constrained
show examples
 in a cage at
this
 decade.I strongly agree with
this
 statement and will discuss
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
 detailed in the following paragraphs.
First
 and foremost,everyone wants to live without any hesitation in
this
 world
therefore
,flora has the same right to spend their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 in natural habitat.
Moreover
,it's a cruel activity to catch the beasts from the jungle and put
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 iron cage.
For instance
,in Thailand,one of the parks was handling constrained
animals
very
Change preposition
in very
show examples
 careless conditions and
this
 news
Correct your spelling
spread
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
 on youtube and got viral whereas,the government initiated to close the park and released them
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 the forest area.
Secondly
,they may get limited
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 rather than their own places since the artificial park management may don't have enough
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to buy the foods which required
Correct article usage
the asper
show examples
asper
Correct your spelling
as per
show examples
 size of the
animals
 and birds.Most of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 created places
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 give any good atmosphere in any manner to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
these things because of the lack of lands and huge investment required to build a world for them.
On the other hand
,Even though,it is good to conserve a place for the maneater beasts without allow to live in
forest
Add an article
the forest
a forest
show examples
.In the current scenario,several areas have been
destryoing
Correct your spelling
destroying
 due to the unexpected fire and other related issues and it may cause the
animals
come
Add the particle
to come
show examples
 to the village for
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.For
expample
Correct your spelling
example
,In Kerala have reported many incidents for the
last
 6 months about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
man hunters
Correct your spelling
manhunters
show examples
 and deprived the cultivation by the
animals
.
Increaing
Correct your spelling
Increasing
 these cases
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of the plot extent
decresing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
decreeing
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year by year. In conclusion,a number of agreed points and disagreed points on
this
 topic but the agreed notes surpass the disagreed,The government must take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper action against
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these dealers and give
freedom
Correct pronoun usage
them freedom
show examples
 to live for the creatures in their uninhabited places.
Submitted by rahul.gauri00 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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