IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

“You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone 10 live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child.” Write a letter to the parents. In your letter explain why you would like the job give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apply for the position of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
babysitter that was recently advertised in the magazine «Australian
time
Capitalize word
Time
show examples
». As a mother of two children, I believe I have all the required qualities for
this
Linking Words
 job. I am particularly drawn to
this
Linking Words
 position because I adore kids. My own offspring have already grown up, so I am
exited
Correct your spelling
excited
show examples
 about the opportunity to contribute my enthusiasm and knowledge to your kid’s well-being. In
Linking Words
additionally
Replace the word
addition
show examples
 to the experience of upbringing my kids, I possess a solid proficiency in children’s psychology. I had finished successfully a
1 year
Add a hyphen
1-year
show examples
 course devoted to
this
Linking Words
 topic, and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 I had a 3 months internship in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 kindergarten in Moscow.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe my background has equipped me with the necessary 
skills for working with your child.
 I would especially appreciate the opportunity to become a babysitter in Australia because it has always been my dream to see
this
Linking Words
county
Correct your spelling
country
show examples
. In my leisure
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 I would be happy to visit its attractions and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
immerse myself in the local culture. I hope you will consider my application. If you find my skills and experience suitable, please contact me to schedule an interview. Yours faithfully, Anastasia Federyakova

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph presents a clear single idea and avoid mixing different ideas within the same paragraph. This will enhance the logical structure of your letter.
coherence cohesion
The letter maintains a suitable tone throughout, which is formal and appropriate for the context. However, using more varied sentence structures and linking words can make the writing flow better.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to articulate your points clearly and effectively, which can demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
The response is complete, and you have addressed all parts of the task. However, make sure each part is equally developed to strengthen your task achievement score.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: