IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that schools should select their pupils according to their academic ability. Others believe that young people with different abilities should be educated together. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #schools #pupils #ability #abilities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
schools
Use synonyms
 should accept students based on their academic ability, while others argue that children should
study
Use synonyms
 together no matter what they have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
abilities
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
both
Use synonyms
 of
these viewpoint
Change the determiner
this viewpoint
these viewpoints
show examples
 will be discussed before reaching a conclusion. On the
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 hand, encouraging smart students to
study
Use synonyms
 together will
stregthen
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 their
abilities
Use synonyms
. When
schools
Use synonyms
 are
fulled
Replace the word
full
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 excellent
pupils
Use synonyms
, it will impact
schools
Use synonyms
' ranking positively. Based on
such
Linking Words
 ranking,
schools
Use synonyms
 can draw attention from societies for funding their
schools
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as all
pupils
Use synonyms
 have
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 knowledge
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
, teachers can teach
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 subjects for
pupils
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Triudomsuksa school, a leading high school in Thailand, is well-known in terms of getting into the
schools
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 school is competitive, but all students perform well in academic
both
Use synonyms
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 and international
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
 the result of all
pupils
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 hard.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think if
schools
Use synonyms
 aim at enhancing only academic
abilities
Use synonyms
, selecting
pupils
Use synonyms
 based on their academic knowledge is the best suit for
schools
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that there are different
abilities
Use synonyms
 among young
people
Use synonyms
 and they should learn together. One of the positive
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 is that they will understand the
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
 situation that
people
Use synonyms
 are different. They should learn to live
other
Change preposition
with other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who may not
as
Add a missing verb
be as
show examples
 smart as them. Another reason is that some children are not good at
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
, but they are good at art, sport, dancing, etc. When they educate together, they can learn from each other. On top of that, it is vital to develop their skills
both
Use synonyms
 academic and
creativity
Replace the word
creative
show examples
. In my point of view, I strongly believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 will get more benefit from knowing and learning from different types of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. In conclusion,
both
Use synonyms
 of these viewpoints have their pros and cons.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it depends on societies and parents to choose which side is the best option for children. In my opinion, as I believe in diversity, I support the latter view that different
abilities
Use synonyms
 should
study
Use synonyms
 together.
Submitted by kanokwann.joy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: