Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Other argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Making
discipline
Use synonyms
the character of teenagers is not fully achievable through hiring them for part-
time
Use synonyms
jobs,because ,
discipline
Use synonyms
means respect for
time
Use synonyms
, their value,and purposes and communication in well-designed behaviour ,
however
Linking Words
, some people believe participating in serious
activities
Use synonyms
as a job could build it .Sacrificing
time
Use synonyms
after school days for work has some benefits ,because , they are able to accept specific types of extra responsibility and communicate with other parts of society in the workplace,but , it seems more related to familiarizing with labour-class , demands and money management in making a choice for daily
activities
Use synonyms
. Respect for
time
Use synonyms
is one of the important key factors to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discipline
Use synonyms
in the personality ,so , a school curriculum would teach students after-school
activities
Use synonyms
,there are more important items that every young individual could do ,
for example
Linking Words
, spending
time
Use synonyms
with family , cooperating in house duties .
Secondly
Linking Words
, each curriculum means 5 days a week that every student from morning until evening must go for the different classes , so , it is a sedentary lifestyle and out of
this
Linking Words
routine,they must be able to have enough physical
activities
Use synonyms
to prevent obesity , diabetes in late life and depression ,if , they want to give extra
time
Use synonyms
to work , it reduces their movement ,because , they must stand up in a long
time
Use synonyms
or sit down .
Thirdly
Linking Words
, socializing with other parts of society has the potential space to learn about living as an adult and perceive and understand their parents more when they are staying far away from home, so ,it could teach sympathy and cooperative behaviour not
discipline
Use synonyms
. Meaningful
activities
Use synonyms
and values exist through completing a defined project or solving a problem to create a value of learning .
However
Linking Words
, working in part-
time
Use synonyms
jobs must be considered when schools and academies are closed as a summer semester and as a pleasurable
time
Use synonyms
could be done by teenagers in terms of their personal choice . In conclusion ,
discipline
Use synonyms
is a special feature which could be taught through every activity not only through working in a part-
time
Use synonyms
job.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on clarifying your main ideas by providing more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly follows a logical sequence to enhance the overall structure. Use clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay presents a relevant discussion around the topic and acknowledges both perspectives on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
You exhibit a good range of vocabulary, which adds variety to your writing style.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Part-time job
  • Financial literacy
  • Work ethic
  • Discipline
  • Job market
  • Academic performance
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Labor laws
  • Work-life balance
  • Skill development
  • Monetary independence
  • Career prospects
  • Time management
  • Peer pressure
  • Rest and recreation
  • Minimum wage
  • Skillset enhancement
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Personal growth
  • Adolescent development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: