IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #money #poverty #aid
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Lots of
people
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 are suffering from being poverty-stricken. Poor
people
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 can be seen in underdeveloped and developing
countries
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 more often. To alleviate these challenges, developed regions allocate
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adequate
amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
amount
show examples
 of
money
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 to the
governments
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. Yet, despite all the efforts,
governments
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 can not decrease
this
Linking Words
 problematic situation. I agree with the idea that
instead
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 of giving
money
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 to the local states, rich
countries
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 should send commissioners to investigate less wealthy fields or give them an education or healthcare services opportunities to cut down on their problems.
First
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 and foremost, due to the rich
countries
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 helps,
governments
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 can alleviate the poverty problem, but in some
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countries
Add a comma
,countries
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 we can easily see that managers take advantage of
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 aids.
For instance
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, after the region accepted immigrants, Turkey took a
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 amount of
money
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 from BM so that Turkey will hold the migrants inside of their boundaries and Europe will give out payment to the country.
Thus
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, immigrants will be looked after.
However
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, in spite of the payments,
people
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 leaving their hometown have suffered from poverty.
In addition
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, the poverty rates of local
ones
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 have steadily increased.
On the other hand
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, financial support can't solve all problems. Without fixing a place's broken system, nobody can offer convenient conditions to the poor
people
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. Yet, providing them educational or medical services
such
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 as scholarships, school opportunities in reach areas or to take responsibility for their medical needs. Problematic economical situations may occur everywhere and
this
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 is a force to be reckoned with. In conclusion, due to the help of rich continents poor
ones
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 find an opportunity to fix themselves.
On the other hand
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, since some
governments
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 abuse these supports they continue to stay in their certain position. Yet sending commissioners to these areas to follow the condition we can take favourable consequences.
Last
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 but not least,
money
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 can not figure out every trouble. Wealthy
ones
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 try to provide education or medicine solves so that poorer
ones
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 can be improved both economically and culturally.
Submitted by meliike.bekcii on

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