There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

It is true that a broad range of musical styles can be found around the world. There are some reasons that lead

music

to a necessary element of human

life

, and I would support a

Correct article usage

the

show examples

idea that international

music

is more important than t

raditional

Correct article usage

the traditional

show examples

music

of a country in t

he m

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apply

show examples

odern

life

Music

is something that accompanies all of us beside our live with many purposes.

Firstly

people

use h

amorious

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humorous

various

sounds to relax after tough working.

For example

, Karaoke is a popular activity as a

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apply

show examples

ntertainment in Vietnam, when

people

usually sing their favourite

songs

just needing a mic at home.

Secondly

music

is the best way to express our emotions through the r

hysms

Correct your spelling

rhythms

and the l

yrcles.

Correct your spelling

circles

lyrics

alueable

Correct your spelling

Valuable

songs

would get in touch with s

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the sad

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or happy feelings of listeners.

Finally

, it is u

nbelieable

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unbelievable

to i

mage

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imagine

show examples

without

music

in special events like New Year or birthday since

songs

bring t

he w

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apply

show examples

arm a

smostphes.

Correct your spelling

smoothes

In my opinion, it is e

ssensial

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essential

to develop modern

music

in f

uture

Add an article

the future

show examples

world than traditional

music

because of its b

enifits.

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benefits

An i

ntiative

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initiative

advantage of international

music

is that i

Add a verb

isit

wasit

show examples

easy to access with more

people

. Nowadays, we live in a g

loblizative

Correct your spelling

globalization

world,

his

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which

show examples

ean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

that we should create similar things like

music

to reach all

people

. In

this

way, g

loble

Correct your spelling

global

citizens would have a

Change the article

the

show examples

same point to share together.

Besides

, international

songs

are a wonderful factor to welcome foreign f

reinds

Correct your spelling

friends

while they come o

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to our

show examples

country. To conclude,

music

is a necessary part of human

life

, and I believe that international

music

would be more important than traditional

music

in modern

life

Submitted by Andy on Thu Nov 25 2021

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The problem of homelessness is on the rise in several significant urban centers globally. What is the main cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it by communities and governments?

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix the problem.

A poor infrastructure hinders under developed countries from progressing and modernizing. Some people think this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree?