IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe children should not be given homework everyday, while others believe students of all ages must get homework everyday in order to be successful at school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
It is highly debatable whether
children
Use synonyms
 should be given
homework
Use synonyms
 or not. Some people suggest that
children
Use synonyms
 should spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their families at home and should not be given
homework
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it is necessary for
children
Use synonyms
 to have
homework
Use synonyms
 every
day
Use synonyms
. I think
children
Use synonyms
 should be provided with a small amount of
homework
Use synonyms
, as
this
Linking Words
 will help maintain their focus on the
school
Use synonyms
 curriculum.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main reasons why people think that
homework
Use synonyms
 should not be given to
children
Use synonyms
 is that they give more importance to
children
Use synonyms
's personal
time
Use synonyms
 at home. Young individuals often explore their hobbies and spend some
time
Use synonyms
 with their families at home after coming from
school
Use synonyms
 , which encourages relaxation and mental peace.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
 helps
children
Use synonyms
 to reset their brains so that they can better perform in their
studies
Use synonyms
 at
school
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, others think that teachers should give
homework
Use synonyms
 to
children
Use synonyms
 every
day
Use synonyms
, as
this
Linking Words
 practice would allow them to remain focused on their
studies
Use synonyms
. Since many students are attracted to social media websites, which distract them from
studies
Use synonyms
 and eventually decrease their academic grades.
This
Linking Words
 habit negatively affects
children
Use synonyms
's mental and physical well-being.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, people support the idea of giving
homework
Use synonyms
 to
children
Use synonyms
 every
day
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion,
children
Use synonyms
 should not be given
homework
Use synonyms
 every
day
Use synonyms
, as
this
Linking Words
 strategy can develop anxiety and stress from completing that
homework
Use synonyms
 every
day
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 decrease
children
Use synonyms
's
overall
Linking Words
 performance in
school
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if the curriculum is divided into smaller parts and
homework
Use synonyms
 is given on a weekly basis,
this
Linking Words
 method could be more effective for both teachers and students.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
homework
Use synonyms
 should be provided in a balanced amount.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a balanced approach would help
children
Use synonyms
 to keep focused on their
studies
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 fostering spending quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their parents. Exploring hobbies and family
time
Use synonyms
 is essential, but the importance of
homework
Use synonyms
 can not be overlooked. So, having some amount of
homework
Use synonyms
 in a week can significantly make learning more exciting and interesting.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view. Make your view more clear from the start: children need some homework, but not every day.
task response
Give fuller support for each side. For example, explain how a short task can help a child practise what they learned in class.
task response
Use one clear real-life example, such as a child who has a short reading task twice a week and still has time to play and be with family.
task response
Be careful not to move between ideas. The second body part says daily homework helps study, but it also says social media harms health. Explain the link more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep each body part focused on just one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to show the next step in your ideas, such as “As a result”, “For example”, and “In contrast”.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid saying the same point many times. In the last part, state your view once, explain why, and then give your suggested plan.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending shorter and more direct. Repeat your main view without adding new ideas about making learning exciting.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you explain both views and state your own view.
task response
Your main idea is balanced: children need time for family and hobbies, while some school work can still be useful.
coherence and cohesion
The order of the essay is easy to follow, with a clear opening, body parts for each view, and a final ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use useful linking words such as “However”, “For this reason”, and “In conclusion”.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: