IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

With an increasing overweight population some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?.

#population #people #universities #sport #module #courses
Obesity has become a major problem in almost every country, some
people
 suggest that the universities make all
students
 participate in
sport
 regardless of their subjects. I completely disagree with
this
 view since not everyone wants to study
sport
, so it should be an optional course.
In addition
, exercise is not the only way to lose weight. To start with,
sport
 is not something that every student could do and some
students
 do
also
 not enjoy it, if we force them to learn about the
sport
, it will make them dislike or hate
sport
 than before.
For example
,
people
 get frustrated every time when other
people
 make them do activities they do not want to do, so it will be obviously better if the
students
 can make a choice.
Moreover
, playing sports is not the only activity that an overweight person could do to reduce their weight. They can
also
 do other activities
instead
,
for instance
, going on a diet or consulting with a professional to find the most suitable way for them. When someone gets a piece of advice from some
people
 whom they know that expert with
this
 field, even if they have to do some exercises or play some sports, they will definitely do it, unlike being forced by universities. In conclusion, the obesity problem should not be fixed by making every student take part in sports, because the
students
 should choose each subject by themself.
Additionally
, there are more ways to get rid of their weight.
Submitted by Bussara.bb2804 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: