People today often use the internet to learn about the culture of other countries. This means that it is not that important to travel to those countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's world, it is widely recognized that an increasing number of
people
opt to learn about the cultures of other countries through social media, leading to a diminished interest in travelling and experiencing these places firsthand. In my view, this
trend is primarily driven by the financial situation of individuals rather than the emergence of new technologies.
With the widespread availability of advanced technologies, the Internet
has become deeply integrated into people
's daily lives. This
development has made it possible to effortlessly explore diverse cultures from suburban areas and remote parts of the world with just a click. For example
, in Kazan, the number of people
interested in virtual tourism has surged over the past decade, now accounting for 30% of the market, prompting other entrepreneurs to start similar ventures. Additionally
, traditional tourism firms have seen a market decline, with 20% of them ultimately going out of business.
Furthermore
, Beyond home Internet
access, people
can interact with foreign websites and real-world experiences in other countries. This
is because the most vivid impressions are often gained by using the Internet
while
immersed in the culture of the country being visited. Consequently
, individuals have countless options and opportunities when deciding on travel destinations, planning activities, or booking accommodations, making their travel experiences more enriching and personalized.
In conclusion, it is clear that
people
have access to a vast array of options through the Internet
, which simplifies their learning and consumption of cultural information. In my opinion, many individuals can enhance and enrich their lives and vacations by leveraging the resources and assistance provided by the Internet
.Submitted by eparfenenkov on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide a more balanced discussion of both perspectives. You could explore additional reasons why some people still prioritize travel despite the easy access to cultural information online.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by refining the transitions between paragraphs to ensure a seamless flow of ideas. For instance, the second paragraph could better relate to the first with a connecting sentence or phrase.
task achievement
Expand on the specific examples provided to make your points more compelling. For instance, delve deeper into how virtual tourism impacts local economies and cultures or the extent to which people rely on the Internet for cultural experiences.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which contributes to a logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the rise of virtual tourism in Kazan, strengthens the main arguments and provides tangible evidence.
task achievement
The language is precise and formal, appropriate for an academic essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!