some country pay extremely high salaries for people. Some people believe that the country must not do that and make a limit for the salaries. Do you agree or disagree.

There are a few countries where citizens can earn a huge amount of money.
People
are considered to believe that
salaries
are had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
to be restricted by the government. In my view, if some
people
have big incomes, they will have a good effect on the economics of the
country
.
Moreover
, society might be inspired by the
people
who have an extremely high salary. For these reasons, I completely disagree with the statement that the
country
should control
salaries
. When it comes to developing economics, having enormous incomes
people
can invest their money in cutting-edge technologies, engineering and science.
Consequently
, technological areas in a
country
will be developed much faster than in countries where the government makes restrictions on
salaries
.
In addition
, the well-developed economy in a
country
leads to improving the level of living.
Thus
, high
salaries
are beneficial for a
country
. As for inspiring society by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings earning high
salaries
, it attracts the attention of young
people
who probably will immigrate to a
country
to live among rich successful
people
.
In other words
, many young
people
are supposed to think that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults having high profits live in a certain
country
because there are comfortable and acceptable accommodations for existence.
Then
, inspired young
people
will commute and do their best to
reach
Verb problem
earn
show examples
the same salary. To summarize,
due to
human beings tending to upgrade their environment, brilliant young from
the
Change preposition
around the
show examples
whole world immigrate to cities where they can get potentially a high income.
To conclude
, if the government enables citizens to have a high income, the city will get the two positive aspects. The former is a positive influence on the economy. The latter is attracting the best
people
from all countries.
Submitted by serebrennikov.dv on

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument against the idea of limiting salaries, providing reasons and examples to support your viewpoint. Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt in your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Work on improving the overall organization of your ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • equitable distribution
  • economic well-being
  • social tensions
  • instability
  • meritocracy
  • top talent
  • innovation
  • government intervention
  • excessive greed
  • exploitation
  • market determination
  • incentives
  • motivation
  • tax revenues
  • public services
  • infrastructure
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