Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #society

Individuals' dependency in the contemporary world has been argued by members of society. There are mixed opinions about

this

topic, while many

people

think that in

this

age and day human beings are less dependent on each other, others think the opposite. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

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I will discuss both sides and state my view. It is undeniable that the invention of the internet and social media has a considerable influence on its users, especially the young generation. The trend of flexing perfect, flawless and affluent life goes viral on the internet, along with beauty standards being set by the models and actors/actresses leading many

people

to extreme decisions namely plastic surgery, or fake up their life.

Furthermore

, the baby-boom generation is

also

surrounded by the internet and technology that help them to live a more convenient life that they may not survive without. These facts are showing how vulnerable and dependent

people

nowadays are.

By contrast

, there are figures proving that

people

are more independent compares to the past. Research pointed out that more than 70% of

people

move out and set up their own lives by the age of 18, while only 40% was recorded in the

last

decade. Asian countries, which are famous for getting married early and living in the extended family,

for example

, has witnessed a lower married rate in the

last

20 years owing to the fact that woman in

this

society is more confident and do not need a man to cover for her. If they received more education, they would be more independent and free.

Therefore

this

is now a trend in Asia of career-minded women. In sum, while the mental health of

people

in modern society is manipulated by a lot of marketing, advertisings and social media, they still show positive signs of being self-determination.

Therefore

, I am more inclined to believe in the self-rule and independence of

this

generation.

Submitted by tanguyenhuongtra on Thu Nov 25 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnectedness
globalization
digital communication platforms
mutual dependency
economic globalization
international supply chains
social validation
advancements in technology
individualism
technological tools
smartphones
personal computers
cultural shift
self-sufficiency
individualistic attitudes
personal achievement
self-care
interdependency
societal structures
emotional support
underlying foundations
human interaction

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Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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