IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
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In contemporary society, the
internet
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 has access to all
news
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 and websites
while
Linking Words
newspapers
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 become
venerable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
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. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement Reading
news
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 via
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Internet
Add an article
the Internet
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 is more convenient so
newspapers
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 become old-fashioned. Nowadays almost everyone has their own mobile phones and they spend a substantial amount of time using them .
Moreover
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, there are lots of free websites which you can follow and have access to everyday
news
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 .
However
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,
newspapers
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 require payment and you should wait for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 weekly or daily edition so
that is
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 why they become old-fashioned.
For instance
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, research held by a group of researchers in Australia said that telephone sales have increased by 50% to 85%
while
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 newspaper sales declined to just 20 % day by day and fewer people are reading them.
Thus
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, as the
internet
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 is faster and easier at spreading
news
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,
newspapers
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 become oldish as they require extra money. As the
internet
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 is used worldwide
newspapers
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 are almost out of use.
Furthermore
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, there are some benefits. As
newspapers
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 get unpopular it has a great impact on the
environment
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 fewer trees are cut to make paper which is a tiny step against deforestation.
For example
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, in New Zealand forests are saved by 20% nowadays rather than in old times as mobile phones are used almost by everyone.
As a consequence
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, it is good for the
environment
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 that
newspapers
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 become a thing of the past as it is good for the
environment
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 . In conclusion, the
internet
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 is more efficient and easier to use and read
while
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newspapers
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 are harmful to the
environment
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 as they made of paper
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Structure
Ensure a clear and consistent argument throughout your essay. While you presented a strong position, further clarity in structuring your paragraphs can enhance your argument.
Cohesion
Introduce a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Language Use
Include a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic proficiency.
Accuracy
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos, which can distract from your overall argument.
Content
Consider adding a short paragraph discussing the opposing viewpoint for a more balanced argument, even if you strongly agree or disagree with the statement.
Content
Strong stance on the topic, providing a clear thesis statement.
Examples
Relevant examples to support arguments, enhancing the essay's persuasiveness.
Cohesion
Good effort to connect ideas with basic linking devices.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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