IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule?

#countries #people #smoke #places #office #buildings #rule
Smoking is injurious to
health
. There are a number of countries where smoking is commonly used
places
 is prohibited,
such
 as cinemas, offices, and other publicly used locations. I believe it's a great law that can prevent indirect smoking and make
places
 more livable and productive. I have explained my points of view in
further
 paragraphs. To commence with, it's scientifically proved that passive smoking is the same destructive for the
health
 as active smoking. Cigarette smoke can cause many critical
health
 conditions
such
 as cancer, heart fatigue and high blood pressure.
In addition
 to that, it
also
 reduces immune system strength which
also
 invites other viral infections in the human body. Any country can't be developed well if it has more unhealthy people reside in.
For example
, in developing countries like Pakistan,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smoking habit is a really big problem over there, which causes many
health
 issues among the population which mitigate its economical growth.
Secondly
, passive smoking makes offices less productive which affects business and the overall work environment,
For instance
, there are different kinds of people who come office to work, many have various problems and allergies to smoke, if smoking is allowed in the workplace, all employees except smoker can face different
health
 issues at the office which badly affect business growth. I totally support that smoking in public
places
 is not advantageous for nations and offices, so
this
 law should be kept like
this
 and the government should try to apply
this
 law to other public
places
such
 as public washrooms, swimming pools, parties and social gatherings.
Submitted by malavjani92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: