Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?

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There is an

elevating

Correct word choice

increasing

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trend in elderly folk choosing to live in other countries after their retirement. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

approach may have several advantages but

also

Linking Words

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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multifarious disadvantages. The forthcoming paragraphs will elucidate both

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

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and cons of the above statement.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the basic advantage of moving to a foreign land is life away from the burden and family responsibilities and

lead

Verb problem

apply

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a peaceful existence

thereafter

Linking Words

. They look to focus on themselves after spending years serving others in their personal and professional lives.

In addition

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, most immigrants look to attain the ultimate purpose of their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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by serving society in developing or poorer nations.

For instance

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, Many Chief officers of big companies after their retirement enrol themselves with NGOs and schools to share the rich knowledge and experience they have acquired over the years. It is a way, they believe in giving back to

mother earth

Correct your spelling

Mother Earth

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and strengthening future generations.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, the biggest disadvantage these foreigners have is related to the health

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

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at their fragile age. It becomes difficult to handle

such

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situations without the support of family and they have to face the unfortunate situations all alone leaving them more depressed and ailing.

Moreover

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, some

crowd

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crowds

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of the host nations do not like interference by an external entity in their company.

For example

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, some cases have already been reported across nations where the host public has retorted to physical harm and thrown foreign people out of their homes as they do not like somebody peeping into their culture and disturbing the harmony. In conclusion, bearing in mind the above information and deliberating all facts, it can be deduced that

although

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migrating to a different nation to live their life peacefully sounds fantastic;

however

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, as new immigrants, we ought to analyse the

obstacle

Fix the agreement mistake

obstacles

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as we might

Unnecessary verb

apply

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dwelling alone.

Shubhamchef2019Sat Nov 27 2021

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task response

Your introduction clearly states your opinion, but it could be improved by providing a more specific outline of the points you will discuss in the essay. A more detailed thesis statement would make it clearer what the reader can expect in the following paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The progression of ideas is generally good, but some sentences could be better linked. For example, the transition from discussing advantages to disadvantages could be smoother to enhance the flow of the essay.

task response

In your second body paragraph, it would be beneficial to develop your examples further to strengthen your discussion of disadvantages. More details on the impact of health risks could make your argument more compelling.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is commendable, particularly phrases like 'multifarious disadvantages' and 'giving back to mother earth', which add richness to your writing.

task achievement

You present a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of living in another country after retirement, which demonstrates thoughtful engagement with the topic.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some Industry leaders belive that children should learn computer programming in primary school.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Some teachers tend to reward students with high academic results. Others, however, support and reward students that improved their grades. Discuss both view and vive your opinion.