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Band 6

Many people think modern communication technology has some adverse effects on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effects #relationships
these days, one of the influential implements is social media and the applications that bring some abilities for
people
 to communicate even at long distances. these platforms definitely make lives more convenient but there are some drawbacks to
this
 issue, I agree with
this
 statement and I am of the opinion the extravagance of
this
 usage leads the relationship to the dark side which will be discussed
next
 in
this
 essay.
first
 of all, one of the significant points of my view is the elimination of face to face interaction with
people
 which could not be replaced by any other sort of communication, the energy and feeling would not be the same as when it happens behind the screen.as a matter of fact, relations are relied on these technologies gradually,
for example
, some researches which were conducted by American scientist explain that the growing number of
people
 use these applications every single day to connect with the loved ones while there is an increasing percentage (about 70 per cent) in depression because of loneliness in individuals at all ages.
secondly
, some valuable features
for example
 empathy, loyalty has been faded away because of the fake relationship behind these technologies. in
this
 invisible place, everyone can pretend
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 they want to be and present to others so the friendships are based on nothing until it is going to work in the real world.
for example
, most of the youngsters have been hurt by the fiction stories of some
people
 on these platforms and they cannot trust anyone after
such
 drama. in conclusion, social media can be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
however
, there are some advantages in
this
 issue but I believe humans cannot change the fact that attending in place to talk, touch and communicate with others is a blessing for everyone that these technologies are not able to prepare
such
 these things for
people
.
Submitted by s_bokaee on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • messaging apps
  • social media
  • non-verbal cues
  • family bonds
  • dependency
  • digital communication
  • superficial relationships
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • social isolation
  • virtual connections
  • emotional satisfaction
  • real-life interactions
  • technological intrusion
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