IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The internet means people do not need to travel to foreign countries to understand how others live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#internet #people #travel #countries
Some
people
 travel to other countries to see the
way
 of living in
deffirent
Correct your spelling
different
 places. it can be argued that we can live the same
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
whitout
Correct your spelling
without
traviling
Correct your spelling
travelling
 via the
internet
. I take the view that the
socieal
Correct your spelling
social
midea
Correct your spelling
media
 and the
internet
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 us to understand how
people
 live
somwhat
Correct your spelling
somewhat
, but in order to have
deep
Add an article
a deep
show examples
 understanding,
travling
Correct your spelling
travelling
 is the only
way
 due to several reasons.
First
 of all, the majority of
people
 just
share
 the good
things
 on social media.
Moreover
, knowing the good
things
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 enough to understand others.
Therefore
, depending on the
internet
 to learn the
way
people
 live is not
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
. To support, we can notice immediately when we open any website or application that most
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 posts shared by the users are about the
sucssus
Correct your spelling
successes
 or
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
happpy
Correct your spelling
happy
 in their
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. That gives us a
unrealistc
Correct your spelling
realistic
 view
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 those
peole
Correct your spelling
people
live
Change the verb form
lives
show examples
.
In other words
, we may think that those
people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 in a particular
way
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on what they
share
, when the reality is
deffiirent
Correct your spelling
different
.
Therefore
, we cannot
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on the
internet
 if we
realy
Correct your spelling
really
whant
Correct your spelling
want
what
wait
 to understand the
lifestely
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 of
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
.
Furthermore
, some nations don'
t
share
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
things
 about
thire
Correct your spelling
their
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
As a result
, we cannot know
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 about their
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 unless we go to thire county, Oman
for instance
. During my whole
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 didn'
t
 face any Omani on social media
share
Wrong verb form
sharing
show examples
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
things
 about his
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 which means that in order to understand how they live, we need to visit them. In
conclosin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the
internet
 might
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 in the process of knowing others lives, but it didn'
t
 give us a clear view.
Therefore
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to the country is the best
way
 to see how
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 live because the
things
 on the
internet
 didn'
t
 convey
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality, and the information about some nations aren'
t
 free on the
internet
.
Submitted by munirah1056a on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • virtually explore
  • multicultural experiences
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • cultural immersion
  • online resources
  • digital age
  • cultural differences
  • language barriers
  • physical distance
  • perspective
  • cultural appreciation
  • educational value
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