IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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There is an argumentative idea heating a debate over the fact that the majority of scientific research is financed and carried out by private companies
instead
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 of
togovernment
Correct your spelling
government
to government
 organizations
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 In my opinion, the upsides can not overshadow its downsides. ​Without a shadow of a doubt, If firms take the lead in squandering money and undertaking some research, there will be many benefits. Particularly, the primary objective of every commercial company is to boost its profits. By doing
this
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, they may do several successful experiments under an adequate budget, preventing money from being wasted and leading to faster outcomes.
Furthermore
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, government agencies are able
tospend
Correct your spelling
to spend
 in other social areas like healthcare, education, and infrastructure thanks to the success of private enterprises.
As a result
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, there are genuine benefits when businesses spend their own resources to get the results as quickly as feasible.
On the other hand
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, there would be plenty of drawbacks if politicians abandon their responsibilities to do scientific research.
Firstly
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, consumers cannot access the study results from private companies since their primary goal is to raise money. In
this
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 case, in order to buy that private information, the government has to give up the public finances.
Second,
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such
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 businesses may sell the findings to any group that supports regressive policies that have a detrimental impact on society.
Therefore
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, if the governors are unable to protect some types of sensitive national information, civilization may suffer. In conclusion, if private organizations fund and carry out those studies
instead
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 of the government, it can be more detrimental than beneficial.

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. While your stance is somewhat clear, strengthening your thesis statement can make your argument more compelling.
Idea Development
In your main body paragraphs, develop your ideas further with more specific examples. This can involve citing studies, notable examples, or adding hypothetical scenarios that illustrate your points more vividly.
Balance of Discussion
Maintain a balance in discussing both advantages and disadvantages when the question asks for an evaluation of both. Give equal treatment to each side to fully address the essay question.
Paragraph Structure
Work on the structure of your paragraphs. Begin with a clear topic sentence, support it with evidence or examples, then end with a sentence that relates back to the essay question. This structure enhances coherence.
Proofreading for Errors
Be cautious with spelling and grammatical errors as they can disrupt the flow and clarity of your argument. Consider using tools or additional proofreading to minimize these issues.
Use of Transitions
Use transitional phrases to better connect your ideas within and between paragraphs. This not only helps with the flow of your essay but also makes your argument easier to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • groundbreaking technologies
  • efficiently allocate resources
  • innovative projects
  • strict timelines
  • profit motives
  • basic research
  • commercial application
  • corporate funding
  • biases in research
  • unbiased exploration
  • balanced exploration
  • public sector
  • private sector
  • synergy
  • comprehensive outcomes
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