In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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As technology is growing,
companies
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are trying to advertise their
products
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in a sensational way, and it is crucial that they emphasize that their
products
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are new and better compared to other
companies
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. In my opinion,
this
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sort of competition in the advertising industry is a positive development and a healthy way to grow the company. Advertising pros of their
products
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play a key role in the business world. A ton of merchandise is coming out every single day. And
this
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kind of development can help a competitive
product
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come out.
For instance
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, Samsung and
Apple
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are in a rival relationship, and people always compare those two
companies
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'
products
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. And
this
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competition helps improve their
product
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and
advertisement
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. To sell their
products
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more than rivals,
companies
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are always trying to make more vivid, rich, and competitive advertising to emphasise their merchandise. And proper advertising increases their
profit
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. The second reason why I think that
advertisement
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that emphasizes their
product
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has a positive side is that the advertising makes the image of the
product
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and company.
Also
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, it can enhance their
profit
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.
For example
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,
Apple
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always emphasises their
products
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,
such
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as the iPhone,
Apple
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Watch, and iMac. Despite the high pricing, people don't hesitate to purchase it. Of course, some people think it is an exaggeration
advertisement
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. But still, it makes money for
Apple
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from now on.
Therefore
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, advertisements can improve their
profit
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. In conclusion, many
companies
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should be adapting the
advertisement
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in a proper way to improve their
profit
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. For those reasons, I believe that advertisements that emphasize their
products
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are a positive development of
this
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industry.

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task response
Try to elaborate more on your points and provide a few additional examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the logical structure is generally good, adding transitional phrases will make your ideas flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a nice structure to your essay.
task response
Your examples, like the comparison between Apple and Samsung, effectively support your main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
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