IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the increasing use of computer and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on the young people reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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The advances in technology have proven to be a 'boon and bane' for the community. The statement explains that excessive use of electronic media has unacceptable effects on the reading and writing skills of youngsters. I partially agree with the statement and the grounds of my perception shall be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
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 with, it is unarguable that advanced technology has made human life easier but
along with
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 its benefits it has some drawbacks
also
Linking Words
. To exemplify, earlier
people
Use synonyms
 used to read newspapers
whereas
Linking Words
 nowadays they prefer to listen to news on their mobiles or televisions which has directly impacted the printing industry by decreasing their sales.
Moreover
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, newspapers were printed in the mother tongue of the area or state, which helped in improving language fluency and building contact with their roots because of more inclination towards electronic devices where the first language is English they learn the language easily.
Furthermore
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, discussing writing skills
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to type on their computers and many software have been introduced that correct both spelling and grammatical errors
as a result
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 which young generation tends to have lesser knowledge of correct spelling and grammar.
For instance
Linking Words
, yesterday I saw an advertisement for an application which types your emails on its own you just have to insert some hints about the topic you are writing about.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there is an application named Whatsapp in which we can easily text our loved ones who are residing far from us. It is acknowledged that there is an option of recording messages and sending them to your family, with
this
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 input it's been easier for illiterates to communicate with their children without the need of writing a message.
However
Linking Words
, during earlier times
people
Use synonyms
 used to take the help of others to write letters.
To conclude
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, computers and mobile phones have proven to have more pros in the lives of
people
Use synonyms
 rather than cons. It has made life easier.

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task achievement
The introduction presents a clear stance but it could be more directly connected to your points. Consider making your opinion clearer in relation to both sides in the thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer logical flow between paragraphs. Try to use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that directly tie back to your main arguments to strengthen the points made throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant points discussing both the positive and negative effects of technology on reading and writing skills.
task achievement
Good use of examples showcasing the impact of technology on communication is admirable and helps illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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