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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however , say that this would have little effect on pyblic health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinoin

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #pyblic #measures #opinoin
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Despite the fact that it has been pointed out by some that constructing more
sports
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facilities
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 is the best means to enhance
health
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conditions
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 for every single person, other
people
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 argue that the increase in the number of
sports
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equipment
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 has no influence on public
health
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, and several other approaches should be implemented. Personally, I completely agree with the latter opinion as
sports
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facilities
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 cannot benefit every resident. On the one hand, some individuals believe that the increasing number of
sports
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facilities
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 is beneficial to public
health
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conditions
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. The reason is that if more
sports
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 infrastructures have been constructed in most parts of a city, it
is
Wrong verb form
be
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 easy and convenient for residents to do exercise. Participating in physical activities can enhance the immune system and help
people
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 to build a strong body, which lowers the risks of catching several illnesses, contributing to the improvement of
physical
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the physical
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 well-being of every person.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Shanghai, the local government has invested a great deal of money to construct
sports
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equipment
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 in every community. One officer of a local hospital
say
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says
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 that they treat fewer patients with
life threatening
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life-threatening
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 situations now as the authorities persuade
people
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 to do exercise with those new
sports
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facilities
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.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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, including me, suggest that the construction of
sports
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facilities
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 has limitations, and other measures should be considered.
This
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 is because
although
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 public leaders spend a vast amount of money building
sports
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equipment
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, a vast majority of individuals who have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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busy working lives and other commitments are less likely to take part in
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a workout
the workout
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workout
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workouts
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 to improve their
health
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conditions
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.
As a result
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 of
this
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 circumstance, a vast majority of inhabitants still have dreadful physical well-being.
For example
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, a huge number of office workers who need to work overtime
every day
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everyday
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 state that there
are
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is
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 a wide range of
sports
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facilities
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 in the public area of their apartment buildings, while they are still suffering from digestive
issue
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issues
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 and insomnia since it is particularly tough to them to spare a moment to do exercise. In conclusion,
people
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 may vary in their opinion about whether building a countless proportion of
sports
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equipment
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 can enhance the physical
conditions
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 of every person or not, while I am of the opinion that other approaches should be taken into account as
this
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 method has the drawback and cannot improve every citizen’s physical well-being.
Submitted by strawberry.guan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • accessibility
  • structured environment
  • holistic approach
  • dietary habits
  • mental health issues
  • healthcare services
  • public health campaigns
  • healthy lifestyles
  • nutrition
  • mental health awareness
  • regular check-ups
  • infrastructure investment
  • marginalized communities
  • health improvements
  • subsidizing memberships
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