More and More people are becoming seriously overweight.some people say that the price inrease of fattening foods will solve this problem.to What extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #inrease #foods

Overweight is a major cause over the world and it leads to fatness in many aspects.a number of people think surging junks

foods

which can resolve the reason of overweight.I completely disagree that junks

foods

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

could not solve the problems.To illustrate that to control

food

habits

and physical

exercise

could be better solutions. To commence with,if we closely look

Change preposition

show examples

the globe A number of obesity causes have been growing ou over the

last

few decades and in many

ways

Add a comma

,ways

show examples

this

taken place due to

food

habits

However

, research shows a number of new obesity causes have been found in 2020 which is a matter of concern.

For instance

, despite

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

knowing

negativity

Correct article usage

the negativity

show examples

of junks

foods

people use to eat.

As a result

, fatness swelling day after day in the city.

Therefore

, changing

food

habits

can impact losing overweight.

On the other hand

, it is obvious that the majority of physicians are agreed that a physical workout is one of the best methods for reducing overweight.

firstly

, A person who takes

exercise

regularly

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has to go with

list

Add an article

a list

the list

show examples

of proper diet

chart

Fix the agreement mistake

charts

show examples

which can lead to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sound and strong health.

secondly

, doing

exercise

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every day can help a person to knock down mental depression .

Moreover

.physical can bring a smart lifestyle and comfortableness in professional life To conclude,I believe increasing junks

foods

prices never be a good solution.

Furthermore

, controlling

food

habits

and physical

exercise

can bring on minimize fatness and physical training provides a better lifestyle.

Therefore

Change the capitalization

show examples

will recommend not

to increase

Change the verb form

increasing

show examples

price

Add an article

the price

show examples

of junks

foods

Submitted by noyon.cyv on Mon Nov 29 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and More people are becoming seriously overweight.some people say that the price inrease of fattening foods will solve this problem.to What extend do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many animal species in world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In general, people do not have such a close relationship with their neighbours as they did in the past. Why is this so, and what can be done to improve contact between neighbours?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?